Waiting in the doctor’s office, I flipped the pages of a magazine and came upon an article that caught my eye. The article was about a young boy who always found himself in the midst of trouble, and yearned for superhero powers.

At the age of ten, the young boy in this article constantly found himself being grounded for another misstep in his behavior. One day in school, his teacher announces that she will confiscate any game card decks that are brought to her classroom. The next day, his deck is confiscated and placed within the teacher’s desk.

Already in trouble for failing to mind his teacher and parents, the youngster swipes the deck back with no one being the wiser. During the drive home from school, he admits his error in judgment to his mother.

Initially infuriated, his mother begins to ground him and begins driving to the school say he will admit to his wrong doing. As she arrives at the school, she realizes that having him return to the classroom would cause enormous embarrassment for her son, and she decides to have him sneak the deck back into school before he can be found out.  She encourages him to use his “superhero” powers and makes the experience adventurous.

At the end of the day, she is the hero for not embarrassing him and he has confidence in himself, being able to correct a wrong before he was found out.

My brain screeched to a halt… WHAT?

I was dumbstruck. This mother encouraged her child to sneak into his school and cover up the error of his ways, teaching him that as long as you don’t get caught…it’s okay.

Now, I will not sit here and pretend that I have never taken this parental path to least resistance. When my youngest was a toddler, he had a propensity for stealing items in the store. He would pick things up and just slip them into his pocket. If I noticed before we left, I would return the item, but one day I noticed long after we had left the store.

I had taken my three children to the amusement park. As a single parent, the day can be exhilarating and exhausting all at the same time. My youngest had managed to stuff a bag of chocolate coins into his pocket. I did not notice until we were far away from the shop and in my tiredness, scolded him and let him off the hook.  We did not return the item, and worst yet, I allowed the kids to eat the chocolate later that day.

Kids will be kids… this too shall pass… He won’t remember anyway… I had a million things running through my mind justifying my behavior for not disciplining my child.

Just this past week, my son recalled the incident with a gleam of humor in his eye, and immediately I was convicted.  In my refusal to properly handle the situation, I spoke into his life what he could perceive as truth, but is really a lie… I taught him, “If you don’t get caught, then it is okay.”

Train a child in the way that he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. (Proverbs 22:6, NIV)

Many times that verse has poured through my mind. What am I training my children to do, how am I being responsible to keep them on the right path?

In the Message the verse reads “Point your kids in the right direction, when they are old they will not be lost.”

What did I really teach my son that day? It was not how to do the right thing, but more how to get away with behaving improperly.

As parents, we need to not be afraid of embarrassing our kids, or having them face the consequences of their actions.  It is our responsibility to establish boundaries for them, teach them the right from the wrong, to help them realize the consequences of their actions while they are still under our protection and care. Being embarrassed, humiliated (one of my kids favorite terms), and uncomfortable are all character building times in their lives. It is in these moments that they will learn who they are, what they believe, and how far they are willing to go to obtain gratification.

We need to realize that our kids depend on us for everything, a roof over their head, food to eat, clothes to wear; and they also depend on us to guide them down the path of their lives. Sure, they will try a few things out in figuring out who they are; but our homes are meant to be their safe havens, where they can experiment with their personalities, their tastes, their likes and dislikes; and in those moments that our kids don’t meet our expectations, they are still met with our love without judgment or criticism, but full of guidance and respect.

Matthew, my youngest, always asks everyone in our family if they could have just one superhero power what would they pick. We would spend hours coming up with all sorts of crazy powers that would one up the last, but then it hit me… what power is greater than the power of love from a parent to a child. That is the same love that God has for us. He is our parent, patiently guiding us to the right path, loving us through all of our accomplishments and failures.  Share that same power of love with your kids and their inner hero will begin to appear!

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