My Mom Made Me Organized

February 5, 2009 By 1 Comment

I honestly do NOT believe for one minute that I was born organized.  No way!  I believe however, that my mom provoked that organizational bone in my body to be more active.  She is after all a very organized person.  Everything is in its place and she knows where that is.  She plans things out ahead of time, when my dad will allow and she has her act together.

Now, as a child I was not organized.  In fact, I verged further to the side of “messy”.  I had a messy room, messy closet, messy bathroom, you get the picture.  My mom was constantly having to tell me to put things away, clean my room, etc.  To which I often rebelled and stuffed it under my bed or in that oh so messy closet of mine, which of course resulted in the doors bulging and mom knowing that I didn’t do what I was told.

Over the years though, someway somehow my mom’s organizational skills rubbed off on me.  After I married and moved out of the house was when I began to discover this fact.  I began to organize my kitchen cabinets, my desk, my linen closet.  I liked having things “just so” and it became a fun hobby for me to enjoy.

What things are you influencing in your daughter?  Do you think you’re not making a difference, think again, there is still hope which you may not see for years to come.

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I’ve Got It Together

February 3, 2009 By Leave a Comment

Do you hope, wish, long to be the person who has “got it all together”.  You know those types they seem to be able to juggle the many roles that they have in life with such ease.  They seem to always have a smile on their face and a jump in their step.  Their crying baby, wrinkled clothes, and unruly preschooler don’t exist, because their children are perfectly behaved and they area always dressed to a T. 

Is this really real?  Is that even possible?  I don’t think so.  The appearance of “having it all together” may seem as real as day, but in reality they are most likely feeling inadequate in some capacity and are breaking their necks to seem perfect, just like you.

After all,  is this what you want to teach your children, that they have to be perfect, that they cannot slip up, make a mistake or have an off day?  I sure hope not, because that will be a pretty miserable life they’ll be forced to live.  Mistakes, after all, are a part of life and help us on our journey, teach us little lessons that aid us in our next steps.  Without those mistakes, most likely most of us would still be where we were, not miles ahead and much wiser.  So, allow your child to experience the results of their mistakes and the joy of learning from them.  Their lives will be better for it.

Photo credit: clairity

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Who Is Her Role Model?

January 15, 2009 By 1 Comment

Today’s girls truly have a different view of what is ordinary.  They are bombarded with tv, movies, and the Internet giving them a much different view point than most of us had at their age.  Young girls think that “normal” is being like Hannah Montana, when she isn’t even real anyway.  I’m not slamming Hannah Montana, but let’s face it she is really Miley Cyrus, Hannah Montana is a character on a television show, but so many of our young girls are trying to be HER!miley cyrus

So, who is your daughter’s role model?  Do you encourage her to find someone real?  Do you talk with her about the qualities she looks for in a role model?  Are any of those qualities things that you’d hope she were looking for?

Find the time to sit down and talk to your daughter about choosing a role model, then watch as she goes about looking up to others.  A recent conversation I had involved a mom of a 12 year old girl who had been looking up to a girl in her church who was about six years older than her.  The older girl had just gone off to college and let’s just say that she wasn’t living the way she had been at home, or what she had been taught at church.

Now, the mom of the twelve year old struggles to know how to deal with her daughter’s disappointment as well as wondering if her daughter will think that the way this girl turned out will that affect her daughter and the choices she chooses to maker in her future.

It is definitely something to think about, are you a part of what your daughter is looking for?  Do you know who her role model is?  Talk to her!

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Praying Together

January 13, 2009 By Leave a Comment

This weekend I spoke at a couple of Mother / Daughter Teas.  At each of the events I had the moms and their daughters at the end of our time together join hands and pray together.  I asked the moms to pray for their daughters, then, I asked the daughters to pray for their moms.praying girls

When this idea first came out of my mouth, as I was telling them what we were about to do I have a few strange looks, but as I looked up after doing this with the second group of girls, ages 13-18, I saw several girls and their moms with tears in their eyes.  The act of praying together, moms, is so powerful.

I had started by telling them that I had been in a conversation the week prior where my friends and I were discussing what to do when we just couldn’t not make ourselves like someone.  One of the my friends suggested to the other, “pray for her”.  She said, “I did it once and found it was difficult to dislike someone I was praying for”.  So, I suggested this idea to the moms and daughters at the tea, because as moms and daughters, or humans in general often times we come to a point where we just don’t like each other.  And, therefore, if you’re praying for each other, well, that will be more difficult to do.

Not only that but prayer is a strengthening bond that will not only bond the two of you together but the two of you with God.  To me there is nothing bad about that.

Want to teach your daughter more about prayer, check out the Moms in a Blog Bonanza for my special this week.  You can sign up on our homepage, to recieve the special via email.

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Did Your Momma Teach You Good Manners?

January 6, 2009 By 2 Comments

“Yes, ma’am”, “No ma’am”,  “Thank you”, “No thank you” are these words common practice in your day-to-day life?  I have had conversations lately with ladies where they will ask me to stop saying, “yes ma’am” to them, because we are close in age, then I have also had conversations with older people who were surprised by my saying those things. The simple fact is, unfortunately good manners are not common practice in today’s society.  This is sad, good manners are like a good name, a part of our character that should be Christ-like.

thank you note

by shemckinley

There are other areas of life that this applies to, I have always been taught to be grateful for what others do for you and in return to show your appreciation through the written word.  I am the queen of Thank you notes.  I believe that a short well written thank you note is sure to make someone feel appreciated for their deeds or actions.  Showing gratitude in even the smallest of circumstances makes a real impact on those around you and helps them to see your Godly character shining through.
When doing some research online about this topic, one of the manners that I came across that many people today seem to hold up in importance is for children to not talk while adults are talking.  Also, for us as adults even, to not interrupt each other when talking.  I am sure we have all encountered both situations and agree that good manners are important.
I think it is our duty as mothers of a new generation to teach our children these things.  Hold up in importance the daily practices that we so often have let go by the wayside these days.  Godly respect is important and should be made a priority.  We are called to “train up a child in the way that they should go.”  Going with good manners will help them a great deal in the days ahead.  It is our duty as parents to instill in our children good practices.

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Movie Night for the Girls

November 26, 2008 By 1 Comment

Spending time with your daughter is one of the best things that you can give  her.  Think about it, your time is your most valued and most precious commodity, therefore why not show your daughter how much you care about her by giving her some of that most precious commodity?  Your time.

One of the ways you might choose to spend some time with your daughter and have fun too would be by having a “movie night” just for you girls.  Rent the latest chick flick, pop some popcorn or bake up some brownies, get in your jammies and veg out as they say.  Relax, giggle, snuggle have fun!

Let her pick the movie (within reason) and make the night special for the both of you.  You might even find a movie that will be a good conversation starter so that you can spend time chatting too afterward.  You might even want to make this movie night a monthly tradition that you can both look forward to as your time.

As busy as we are these days we must guard our relationships and do everything we can to make them strong.  Setting aside time for each other will help to guard your relationship, protect it and keep it strong and growing.  That’s what we all want right?

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Connect With Your Daughter Through Blogging

October 28, 2008 By 1 Comment

There are lots of ways to connect with your daughter.  Did you ever think blogging could be one of those ways? Blogs are truly HOT right now from mom blogs to niche blogs, from cooking blogs to review blogs they are all over the place and you can truly find one on virtually any topic.

However, above all at least in the mom blogging community I notice that blogs are a great way of doing one thing, connecting.  So, why not use your blog to connect with your daughter and if she’s old enough encourage her to start a blog as well, which will allow you a peek into her thoughts as well.  Just like her reading your blog will do.

A word of caution of course is to never blog about things about her that might embarrass her.  That is the last thing you want to do and of course will be the killer of that “connection” you are attempting to make with her in the first place.

When you do blog, remember she is reading and look for ways to connect with her through your words.  I think mom blogging is definitely a way we as moms can connect with our children, whether they read our blogs now, or later.

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Choosing the Right After School Activities for Your Daughter

September 16, 2008 By Leave a Comment

choicesChoices, choices, choices, as moms our lives are full of choices.  Our daughter’s lives are full of them as well, and it is important that you help her to make wise choices even in the little things like choosing her after school activities.  What happens after school is equally as important as what takes place during the school day. It’s important that you and your daughter choose the right after school activities.  Obviously as the parent, you’ll be the one making the final decisions.  However if you can include your daughter in the process, you’ll have better buy-in.

If your daughter has sports practice, dance lessons or choir practice, there will be other adults present.  That’s a good thing.  You will want to make sure that she understands that she needs to stay away from activities such as hanging out at a friend’s house, that do not include adult supervision, which always heightens the possibility of trouble.
Helping your daughter to understand what is safe for her to participate in after school and what is not is important especially if you’re not available to her directly after she is dismissed from school, and she is therefore on her own for a few hours. You will want her to be armed with the ability to make the proper decisions about what she will do.
If you prepare her in advance she will be better able to make the right decisions, it’s all about communication.

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Passing It On

August 28, 2008 By 1 Comment

giftThere are many things in our lives that we pass on to others.  You may have traditions in your family that are passed down from generation to generation.  How you celebrate certain holidays, the way that you allow the birthday boy or girl to choose what’s for dinner on their birthday, celebrating all the birthdays in a given month together as a family, whatever the case may be.

Then there may be other things that you pass on, clothes are passed down from older siblings to younger siblings, maybe toys too.  But wouldn’t it be memorable to purchase an item for yourself that you could pass down to your daughter as a keep sake, an item to help remember you by, even after you are gone. An item to remmber you by when you can’t be there with her.

I own an item like this.  Though I never knew the original owner of this item, a birthstone ring, that originally belonged to my great-great grandmother, it is still an item of importance and signifcance to me.  I wore it as my “something old” in my wedding and I value and cherish the fact that I have it and that it has been passed down in the generations before me to all the granddaughters who had November birthdays.  My grandmother actually gave it to me when I turned 18.  For all the years prior, she had told me about this ring and finally gave it to me when I got old enough to appreciate it.

Maybe you could do something similar with your daughter and a special item that you can “pass on” to her.

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A Need to Communicate

August 26, 2008 By 1 Comment

This past weekend I did a Mother/Daughter Event for a group of ladies and their daughters at a church about 70 miles from my home. I have done many of these events over the last 3 or 4 years. However, something happened at this event that has never happened to me before. One of the teenage girls actually got up and left. Luckily, I had figured out she was already upset with her mother, not me so I did not take it personally. However, this whole incident got me to thinking. It got me to thinking about attitudes and about communication.

Not meaning to easedrop, earlier in the event before I got up to speak to the group of moms and daughters this young lady and her mom had sat down beside me. I heard the girl mutter to her mother something like this, “you tricked me”. Her mom, calmly smiled and replied, “no I didn’t”, to which the girl responded, “yes you did you said we were going to spend time together, I don’t want to be here.”listen

As the afternoon progressed she made it clear she did not want to be at the event, by actually walking out of it. Her mom of course trailed after her, came back to apologize but ultimately left early. The whole incident though it did not hurt my feelings it did concern me. I see a deep need in this mother/daughter relationship for communication.

The mom meant well. She thought she was helping her daughter by bringing her to a Christian event at church, however I’m pretty sure that the daughter did not hear a word that was said by me that afternoon, as she sat sulled and hurt. She felt that her mother had tricked her and that is all that she knew and all that I’m sure was on her mind. I am not sure what had happened prior to their arrival, but it obviously lacked clear communication between the daughter and the mom.

This story shows us the importance of communication. An afternoon of chatting with and being listened to by her mother over an ice cream cone or a Coke and a burger might have been a better choice for this mom to have made, considering the feelings of her daughter and the clear need that was there for the two of them to openly communicate.

Please moms, watch for the signs your daughter is giving you that she needs to talk. These may be different in every child, so I won’t even try to name them, but you know what I’m referring to for your daughter. Be open to taking time out to talk, but more importantly to listen.

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