Coping With Teenage Mood Swings

Understanding Your TeenBy Aurelia Williams, author of Understanding Your Teen

If you are the parent of a teenager, you are familiar with mood swings. One minute, your teen is happy and loving, the next they are sullen or angry. These mood swings can happen fast and can seem to come out of nowhere and it’s one of the reasons I created my Understanding Your Teen Guide.

You may find yourself wondering what you did or said to cause this shift in your teen’s mood. The truth is, you probably didn’t do anything wrong at all. Your teen’s mood swings are normal, and there is not much that can be done to stop it.

Your teen is slowly becoming an adult and they are developing the skills the need to handle the pressures of the adult world, but this process takes time. They may have a school project due, have chores around the house to complete, and then they get into an argument with their best friend.

Some of these things may seem silly or trivial, as you have work to do and a lot more housework on top of that. Try to remember that your teen’s brain is still growing and they may simply not have the ability to handle all of those pressures and keep a smile on their face at all times.

While you may not be able to end your teen’s mood swings all together, you can use these techniques to help both you and your teen learn to cope:

  • Encourage your teen to talk to you when they feel upset or overwhelmed. Let them know that you are there for them, and that you have experienced those same feelings from time to time.
  • If your teen doesn’t want to talk, encourage them to express their feelings in a creative way, such as painting, drawing, or writing. Let them know that they can keep this private, that they do not need to show anyone. Once they get their frustrations out, they will feel a lot better and will be able to move on.
  • Try not to react to your teen’s mood swings. Sometimes, they say things just to get a reaction. If you ignore the bait, they may change their attitude.
  • If you and your teen do get into an argument, diffuse the situation by getting up and taking a break. When both you and your child are calmed down, you can finish discussing the issue.

At times, it can seem like your teen is from a foreign country. They have different behavior and customs and sometimes, and sometimes it can seem as though they are speaking a different language.

Even though there are difficult times, try to enjoy this period of your child’s life as much as possible, because these years will go by very fast.

Next Steps
1. To gain a little more patience and whole lot more understanding of your teen, pick up Aurelia’s Real Life Guidance to Understanding Your Teen – it’s a lifesaver for so many parents.

2. If you’re gearing up for another summer with your teen and want to dread trying to keep them occupied, happy and out of trouble, check out School’s Out for plenty of expert resources to make it a great summer.

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Bullying In Schools: How To Deal

There are always bullies in social situations – people who have to build themselves up by tearing down or beating down the people around them.  Unfortunately, that will be true at any age.  Whenever there is a group of kids, there is likely to be a bully amongst them.  It is important that you give you child the right tools to know how to deal with bullies, today and in the future.  Here is some advice to help you and your child:

1.  There is no way to avoid the bullies of the world.  They can be found in Sunday school classes, homeschool support groups and school classrooms.  Instead of avoiding them you will have to develop ways to live or deal with them.

2.  Walk away.  Almost every confrontation offers the chance to just get away from the situation.  It is not running – it is looking for a more appropriate time and place to deal with it.  Most bullies want to be seen by many people; if you can take that away from them then you might be able to deal with the situation with fewer problems.

3.  Retaliation leads to escalation.  Although the television shows and the movies show that confronting a bully is the only way to win, in truth it could be the one sure way to lose.  Especially in today’s society – where escalating violence is the norm – pushing someone who wants to be the “top dog” might cause an escalation in violence towards your child and towards others as well.

4.  Talk to the people that are in charge when your child is being bullied.  If the teachers won’t listen, then talk to the administration.  If the administration won’t listen, then talk to the authorities.  Bullies can be an extremely dangerous element for any environment.  The people that are in charge need to be aware of the dangers involved.

5. Talk with your children.  Open lines of communication make it easier for your children to come to you if there is a problem.  Taking time every day to talk about their day, their thoughts and their ideas is likely to make you aware of any problems or potential problems before they can get out of hand.

6.  Stay involved.  By being around your children at play and at school you can recognize bully situations before they become problems.  Make a point to attend birthday parties, ballgames, practices or other group events and activities.

The natural instinct for many parents is to shield their children from bullies or situations where the children might be bullied.  The truth is that it is impossible to completely avoid all bullies.  It is better to learn how to deal with the situations at the earliest possible age, rather than being shocked by bullies that are more aggressive and more dangerous in the future.

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Writing the Perfect Christmas Letter

I don’t know about you, but I always look forward to receiving Christmas letters from family and friends during the holiday season. Often it is the only news you receive from some of them throughout the year.

I started sending out our family Christmas letter the year after I got married. Some adult children are content to share their family news in a letter from their parents, but I wanted to start our own family tradition with our own annual Christmas letter.

Sitting down to write a letter can be an intimidating task. It’s easy to put off until the last minute if you’re overwhelmed with the idea of trying to figure out what to say. There are several things to take into consideration when writing your own family Christmas letter.

Some people get very creative with their Christmas letters. There are a variety of formats to choose from. You can buy holiday printer paper at any office supply store. Just print out your letter on the decorated paper, and you’re all set to go. If you’re printing out a lot of letters and don’t want to spend as much on the paper, you can also just choose colored paper with no design…red or green paper look festive all on their own with your letter printed on them. You can also copy your letter on to the paper with a copy machine instead of printing each one on your printer. If you are into rubber stamping, you could also hand-decorate your letters after you print them.

Or, you can go paper-less! You can email your letter to family and friends if they have Internet access. This would allow you to insert pictures into your letter and not worry about having to print them. Some families have web sites set up to post family pictures and happenings. This would also be a great place to post your Christmas letter for all to see.

So what should you write in your letter? Keeping things short and to the point is definitely a fine art. I try to keep my letters to a page, if possible, a page and a half at the most. It also depends on how large your family is. The point is not to lose the reader’s interest with too many pages to read.

I start my letters out with a greeting, and then a paragraph or two of major family happenings, like births, deaths, weddings, etc. This is also a good place to briefly describe any favorite family vacations for the year. I then write a short paragraph about each family member to get everyone up to date about who just got their driver’s license, braces on or off, started their first job, etc. I just try to hit on the major milestones that people would be interested in knowing about.

You’ll find that once you sit down to start your letter that the words will just start flowing and you’ll be done with it in no time. Who knows better what happened in your family this year than you? It’s also a good idea to let someone else read it before you send it out to make sure you got your facts straight. Especially about your kids! That could definitely come back to haunt you later.

Try to send your letters and cards out during the first week of December. I love getting letters and cards at the beginning of the season. Hearing from family and friends is a great way to get into the holiday spirit, and once you have those letters out the door your time is freed up for other important tasks.

Make sure you keep a copy of your Christmas letter for yourself. I place a copy of mine in a binder in which I keep all of the holiday letters I receive. Someday this will be a wonderful keepsake for my children and grandchildren.

Article by:

Rachel Paxton is a freelance writer and mom who is the author of What’s for Dinner?, an e-cookbook containing more than 250 quick easy dinner ideas. For more recipes, organizing tips, home decorating, crafts, holiday hints, and more, visit Creative Homemaking at www.creativehomemaking.com.

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