Name: Kahlan
Age:? 4 1/2
Personality: A mom’s boy, very shy, but with a massive temper!!
His Love Language: Words Of Affirmation
If you knew Kahlan, you would understand why it surprised me that this was his love language. Kahlan refused to talk as a toddler. When he was just 2, we had his hearing checked because his voculbary was basically non-existant. Then one day he started talking – not just? a few words either. He went from no words to full sentences in under two weeks!!! Now, we can’t shut him up. One of the sweetest things he does, is out of the blue, he will come up to me and say: Mommy, You’re My Best Friend.
Using His Love Language: Bonding
Bonding is fairly simple with this guy, lol. He’s a momma’s boy through and through. He loves to hear I Love You and to be complimented on his work/efforts. So I look for special oppurtunities to praise him, because I know it means even more to him then it does to his sisters.
Using His Love Language: Discipline & Growth
Kahlan is one of those children who would rather not learn stuff. For example, the not talking issue I mentioned before. Other examples – he is learning to print letters in school but refuses to do more then copy the existing ones. He can zip his jacket and buckle his seat belt, but he pretends he can’t. He can draw cars almost as good as I can but asks me to anyway. Over the last few weeks, I have been using his love language to respond to these issues and it has been wonderful! A few weeks ago, they learned K and he actaully did one by himself!!! I got very excited, told him how wonderful and smart he is, and within 2 hours, he could write his whole name by himself!!! Now he asks me how to spell other names as well and as long as I praise his efforts, he keeps trying! This would not have worked on my older daughter. We’ve been trying the same thing with other things like buckling up and zippers, and it has worked better then any time out or other punishment we’ve tried!
In Kahlan’s case, the need for discipline can often be minimized by gentle words and praise. But he also has a horrible temper, so when occassions arise, a raised voice does wonders! Talking to him and making him apologize are also very effective. I have to be careful though, because if the wrong thing is said in the moment, it will hurt him emotionally more then it would either of his sisters.
Next week I will finish off this series by discussing my youngest daughter and then we will be starting our first book “club”. We will be reading and discussing one chapter of Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman each week here on the blog. If you would like to read and discuss along with us, that would be wonderful! You can let us know at dcakru@mts.net and if you need help getting the book, we can help you find it. You should be able to find it at most bookstores. It is called The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, ISBN:1-881273-15-6. We also found it for $4.38 on Ebay’s Half.com.
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