Love Is…Not Judging Others

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Things are calm for today. Just a little over a week ago email campaigns were flying trying to urge us to vote for one candidate or another. Bloggers were stating their views and hearts with anyone who would read, and unfortunately a lot of missteps were taken. Some of us acted out of emotion, some fear, some elation…but most of us acted out of our perception.

All too often we are quick to criticize or judge individuals against some crazy set of guidelines we have created. If that person doesn’t meet our expectations, we write them off, and move on with our lives, or we openly judge them and try to sway others to our point of view.

I remember when I finally mustered up the courage to go back to church after I had separated from my first husband.  We had been separated for well over a year, and had even attempted a reconciliation. Somewhere in my confusion and realization that I could not do this walk in life alone, I made my way to church.

I was nervous walking in…would people be able to read my sin on me? Would they accept me, or would I be shunned? I felt like Mary Magdalene with every part of my being on display for their approval or refusal.  The hospitality staff was pleasant enough and helped me find the children’s church. As we were walking back to the sanctuary the question came up about where my husband was.  I simply stated that we were separated.

“Oh, we are so sorry.”

“I’m not.”

Their stares felt like the first stone being hurled my direction. Not that I blame them, or even hold any contempt for their actions, it is the stigma of the church…don’t get divorced…and they were reacting within their value systems.

What they didn’t know is what I had been through. Had we had the time, I could have explained my continued heartache of numerous affairs, my fear of the constant abuses, my bout with cancer, and the pain in my children’s hearts…but there was no time, just the few short seconds to cast the first stone of judgment.

I walked into the sanctuary feeling ashamed and embarrassed. Ashamed of the path my life had taken. Years earlier I left a church because close friends told me to be careful with this marriage, to pray about it more, wait a little longer…they were right.  Embarrassed by my actions and my tongue - what must they think of me?  Oh well, here it goes…another long sermon…another day of feeling so unworthy, so unloved.

“Don’t pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults- unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging. It’s easy to see a smudge on your neighbor’s face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own. Do you have the nerve to say, ‘Let me wash your face for you,’ when your own face is distorted by contempt? It’s this whole traveling road-show mentality all over again, playing a holier-than-thou part instead of just living your part. Wipe that ugly sneer off your own face, and you might be fit to offer a washcloth to your neighbor. (Matthew 7:1, AMP)

God met me that day in the sanctuary. The pastor stepped out of his sermon for a moment and addressed the divorced and separated of the church, admonished the congregation not to judge them for they had no understanding of the pain and devastation so many of us were experiencing. He admonished those of us in the situation to be at peace, to love, and to understand that God could meet us in our pain.

Leaving that day I felt like Mary Magdalene…

Jesus stood up and asked her, “Where is everyone? Isn’t there anyone left to accuse you?” 

“No sir,” the woman answered.

“I am not going to accuse you either. You may go now, but don’t sin anymore.” (John 8:10-11, CEV)

We need to be careful not to judge others, because we do not understand their pain, their suffering, their reasoning. More importantly, we do not understand their calling or purpose in the kingdom, and our very actions could cause them to walk away from the one thing God has called them to do.

In the case of Mary Magdalene, she was the first to witness the resurrection of Christ.  Had Christ not been there to love her and not judge her that one fateful day, she may have missed her calling…her purpose.

Jesus was quick to remind us to take a moment and try to walk in someone else’s shoes for just a second, try to see where they are coming from…but most importantly, see where we are coming from. We need to look at our own hearts first and realize the motives behind our criticism, our judging, our discontent with others. We need to be reminded, just as the people who wanted to stone Mary Magdalene were that we are all guilty of sin, and we all don’t deserve God’s grace.

But grace is freely given. God’s grace met me at church and spoke through my pastor… God’s grace allowed me to run home in the arms of a Father that I had missed, and failed miserably. God’s grace let me feel His love again in my life, and reminded me of just where I had walked, and where I now stood.  God’s grace brought purpose to my life…hope to my heart…joy to my soul.

Stand in His grace today and love others for who they are called to be!

• Standing Firm in the Storms of Life
• Mapping Out The Journey
• I'll Give You Peace
• Fear Not...There are No Victims...
• The Expectation of Christmas

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Written by Dawn · Filed Under Bible Based Living 

Dawn's life is full as a pastor's wife, mother of three, business woman, servant leader at church, and a student. More important than busyness is her goal to be fruitful in the life God has called her to serve. Through her writing, Dawn will take you on a journey through three subjects that have impacted and changed her life. RHYTHMS OF GRACE uses Christian music and Scripture as points of reference, to encourage others to see God in the everyday moments. ONE SCARED CHICK is a journey through the subject of FEAR and God's promises to each of us. LOVE IS...a search for our identities, and the ability to make better choices during the journey. Please comment and share your own personal journeys as we walk through the thread of God's grace...

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