Last night I had the privilege of watching the 2009 Dove Awards with my family. It was a fun evening, watching artists and songs we love receive nods for their talents and courage to step out in the Christian music scene. This was the first year that fans were able to vote for several of the categories, which made the evening even more exciting.
A few short weeks ago, my kids were able to cast their votes for another award show – The Kids Choice Awards sponsored by Nickelodeon. My daughter, age 13, led the effort to make sure their voices were heard among the millions of young viewers who were voting. I remember her excitement as she felt the ability to allow her voice to be heard, and I can just as easily recall her disdain as she was presented with one of the categories.
The category was Song of the Year, and three songs had received nods by Nickelodeon; they were Don’t Stop the Music (Rihanna), Single Ladies (Beyonce), and I Kissed a Girl (Katy Perry). My daughter was stumped; she didn’t know what to do.
Her indecision was not caused by the fact that she is not allowed to listen to secular music on the whole. (This means that she cannot purchase albums, songs for her MP3 player, etc. that are secular, unless previously approved by either her father or I). Her indecision was caused due to her knowing the songs, and being unable to choose between them.
When she came to me with her confusion over what to do, my first thought was – how does she know these songs anyway? As we discussed the songs, I realized they were prevalent in her culture, and even though she is not openly exposed to them from our influences, the messages of the songs are still finding their way into her life. How? Through TV shows, movies, video clips of the songs on the kids channels; the song I Kissed A Girl was even played during a family charity event we attended, as a song that was kid-friendly.
Allow me to provide you with a few lyrics from each song:
Single Ladies
I got gloss on my lips, a man on my hips
Hold me tighter than my Dereon jeans
Acting up, drink in my cup
I could care less what you think
I need no permission, did I mention
Don’t pay him any attention
Cuz you had your turn
But now you gonna learn
What it really feels like to miss me
Don’t Stop the Music
Do you know what you started?
I just came here to party
But now we’re rocking the dance floor, acting naughty
Your hands around my waist
Just let the music play
We’re hand in hand, chest to chest, and now we’re face to face
I Kissed A Girl
This was never the way I planned
Not my intention
I got so brave, drink in hand
Lost my discretion
It’s not what I’m used to
Just wanna try you on
I’m curious for you
Caught my attention
No, I don’t even know your name
It doesn’t matter
You’re my experimental game
Just human nature
It’s not what, good girls do
Not how they should behave
My head gets so confused
Hard to obey
I remember being at the charity – family friendly event, and watching kids of all ages sing the songs above. They knew the words and were singing them with glee…
As a parent, I need to ask myself, what am I allowing to affect my children? I do not want my kids, even my young teenager, to sing songs about dancing chest to chest with people, their hands on her hips. I don’t want them to sing joyfully about having a drink in their hand and allowing the alcohol to provide them with a bravery they don’t need to experience.
So as parents, what do we do?
Oddly enough, the events of this week brought another thought to the forefront of my mind. During the Miss USA pageant, Miss California was asked about her opinion on gay marriage, and while she stated partners should be able to make their own personal choice, she was booed and severely criticized for her comment that it was not something she or any member of her family agreed with. The outroar from those agreeing with the same-sex marriage platform were heard from all directions… yet where was the voice of reason in all this confusion?
So, as parents, what do we do?
It is time that we as parents took a stand about what is being exposed to our children. How is it that our kids can have songs about homosexuality glamorized on kid-friendly TV stations, or award shows, and we don’t say a word.
Our world is like none other. Our kids are exposed to so many negative connotations of mankind everyday, and most of them are done innocently; or so it seems. Think about what they see on Nick TV, and the Disney channel. How about the Burger King commercials (the tub, the scantily dressed women dancing)?
Yet the Scripture speaks to us about these things:
Be wary of false preachers who smile a lot, dripping with practiced sincerity. Chances are they are out to rip you off some way or other. Don’t be impressed with charisma; look for character. Who preachers are is the main thing, not what they say. A genuine leader will never exploit your emotions or your pocketbook. (Matthew 7:15-19, MSG)
What are all these entities looking for, really? Do they care about our children and their choices, or do they care about their bottom-line, their profit? The flash, the glamour, the humor, the thrill; all entice our kids and speak to their hearts, even when they are not listening on purpose.
As parents, it is time we stood up; first and foremost, with our children. It is time that we explained to them what is right, what is wrong, the path to walk upon, and the reasons why they should make the best choices. We need to stop being afraid of whether they will love us or not, and care more about whether they are safe, self-assured, and full of a confidence and a strength that empowers them to make the right choice. That strength? The absolute knowledge that we love them, no matter what; and that their Creator loves them more than we possibly can.
Sure, we can fight our battles in the public, and try to have things removed from our sights; protect our kids in that way. Even if we succeed, if we have not protected our children’s hearts, then we have failed. See, I have removed all evidences of secular music from my home, but it still gets in; despite all my efforts. My joy is in the fact that my kids are making good choices.
My daughter’s vote for the Song of the Year on the Kid’s Choice Awards… none; she felt no song nominated deserved her seal of approval.
Her vote for Song of the Year for the Dove Awards….again, she had a hard time deciding, but her top three were Empty Me (Chris Sligh), I Will Not Be Moved (Natalie Grant), and I’m Letting Go (Francesca Battistelli). Her final choice was a song about standing firm in the will of God, because she will not be moved in her faith. She has made a right choice and brought joy not only to my heart but to her Father’s heart as well.
Press on parents, empower your children to make the best choices and find their feet firmly planted in the love you and God have for them.
More From Dawn
Meet & Greet