I’m a daughter, granddaughter, mother, and grandmother.
This simple fact of life gives me a quadruple layer in my view of things. Because I’ve experienced life through these four particular lenses, I respond to people and events from all four spheres.
Take, for instance, the “rock-cital” I attended the other day. My grandson and granddaughter were both performing; grandson on the drums and granddaughter on guitar and vocals. What a wonderful night!
As I’m watching the show, the stage represented more than a place to play music; it was like my own four layers, my life-blood, was on display. Here’s what I mean:
My granddaughter is the ‘daughter’ – all the world’s HER stage, literally that night, and figuratively speaking every day of her life, for now. She’s not thinking about how this impacts her grandmother, nor should she. I know because I am a daughter, too.
My daughter is the ‘mother’ – all the world’s wrapped up in her children and their performance, with a passing thought that she is thankful that her mother is there. She’s not thinking about how this impacts her legacy… yet. I know because I am a mother, too.
I’m the ‘grandmother’ – and here’s where it gets odd. I don’t just get to be the grandmother. We are given a gift of immortality when we have grandchildren. In that room with us was my mother, and her mother, and her mother, and her mother… and I have a tremendous opportunity, as well as a duty, to keep their legacy alive. I didn’t know that about my own grandmother, but I wish I had. Maybe it’s something we can’t know until we experience the same thing.
This is a gift I want to give to my daughter and grandchildren. I want them to know the importance of passing on the legacy, the stories of their family.
We don’t expect children to know the value of this while they are young. I know when I hugged my grandkids after their performances that I would remember that moment more than they would. But, what I hope is that I can help them value their legacy as it plays out in thirty, forty, fifty, sixty years.
The best I can do is be there when I can, and share my family’s stories with my grandkids, even when they roll their eyes and laugh at me! I’m old enough now to really value my own grandparents’ and parents’ stories, and I know my grandkids will be there some day. And, I want to give them stories to remember.
What can you do as a mother to help your children value their legacy?
Start telling your children THEIR stories first. Every child loves to hear about the day they were born, their first steps, their first words, their first tooth, their first friend, etc. etc. Remember, it’s all about them!
At some point, children start to wonder about family relationships. They start to try to figure out all the complications of how people in their lives are related. If you have a big family, like we do, write it down! Make a family tree. But, don’t just write down a bunch of names; tell the stories that go along with the people.
This isn’t something that happens overnight, or quickly. Sharing your family’s legacy with your children takes time… years. This is an ongoing project, but it shouldn’t be a chore. This is a project of love. Tell your kids one story about either themselves or you or a grandparent, aunt, uncle, or cousin. Don’t let your family’s legacy, history, or heritage go unspoken and unloved.
Thanks for reading!
Patti Winker
www.RemarkableWrinklies.com
p.s. I spend a lot of time reminiscing about the “good old days” on my website RemarkableWrinklies.com but I also share tips for staying healthy and fit as we age. I hope you’ll stop by and see what we Grandmas are up to these days. And, when you do, be sure to leave a comment and share your own thoughts!
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[...] p.s. Want to explore why we need to keep connecting with each generation? Read my post about sharing family stories by clicking here: Why Connections With Generations Matter Now – Share Your Family Stories [...]