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My Mom Made Me Organized

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I honestly do NOT believe for one minute that I was born organized.  No way!  I believe however, that my mom provoked that organizational bone in my body to be more active.  She is after all a very organized person.  Everything is in its place and she knows where that is.  She plans things out ahead of time, when my dad will allow and she has her act together.

Now, as a child I was not organized.  In fact, I verged further to the side of “messy”.  I had a messy room, messy closet, messy bathroom, you get the picture.  My mom was constantly having to tell me to put things away, clean my room, etc.  To which I often rebelled and stuffed it under my bed or in that oh so messy closet of mine, which of course resulted in the doors bulging and mom knowing that I didn’t do what I was told.

Over the years though, someway somehow my mom’s organizational skills rubbed off on me.  After I married and moved out of the house was when I began to discover this fact.  I began to organize my kitchen cabinets, my desk, my linen closet.  I liked having things “just so” and it became a fun hobby for me to enjoy.

What things are you influencing in your daughter?  Do you think you’re not making a difference, think again, there is still hope which you may not see for years to come.

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I’ve Got It Together

Do you hope, wish, long to be the person who has “got it all together”.  You know those types they seem to be able to juggle the many roles that they have in life with such ease.  They seem to always have a smile on their face and a jump in their step.  Their crying baby, wrinkled clothes, and unruly preschooler don’t exist, because their children are perfectly behaved and they area always dressed to a T. 

Is this really real?  Is that even possible?  I don’t think so.  The appearance of “having it all together” may seem as real as day, but in reality they are most likely feeling inadequate in some capacity and are breaking their necks to seem perfect, just like you.

After all,  is this what you want to teach your children, that they have to be perfect, that they cannot slip up, make a mistake or have an off day?  I sure hope not, because that will be a pretty miserable life they’ll be forced to live.  Mistakes, after all, are a part of life and help us on our journey, teach us little lessons that aid us in our next steps.  Without those mistakes, most likely most of us would still be where we were, not miles ahead and much wiser.  So, allow your child to experience the results of their mistakes and the joy of learning from them.  Their lives will be better for it.

Photo credit: clairity

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Does Disappointment Equal Discipline?

Recently, my 5 year old son cut my 22 month old daughter’s beautiful curly hair to the point where we had to get her a short haircut and the curls are now all gone.  I was obviously disappointed.  I showed this disappointment clearly and for days he has had to endure the comments from both myself and others about this disappointment.

I can remember as a child doing things that disappointed my parents, and they like I did recently showed their disappointment in me.  I don’t recall whether or not they used another form of punishment to discipline me or not, however the very fact that I remember their disappointment says a great deal about how it affected me.  Therefore, I feel that showing your child your disappointment can be a form of effective punishment.

I feel that it has been a form of punishment for my son and I am quite certain it was an effective punishment for myself as a child, as I still remember it so vividly.  Sure, there are other forms of punishment that are effective, but sometimes just being real and honest with your feelings can be a form of punishment and an effective one in itself.

What are some ways that you punish your child?  Do you show your feelings about their behaviors?  Do you believe that disappointment shown to your child as a result of their behavior can be an effective form of punishment?

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Who Is Her Role Model?

Today’s girls truly have a different view of what is ordinary.  They are bombarded with tv, movies, and the Internet giving them a much different view point than most of us had at their age.  Young girls think that “normal” is being like Hannah Montana, when she isn’t even real anyway.  I’m not slamming Hannah Montana, but let’s face it she is really Miley Cyrus, Hannah Montana is a character on a television show, but so many of our young girls are trying to be HER!

So, who is your daughter’s role model?  Do you encourage her to find someone real?  Do you talk with her about the qualities she looks for in a role model?  Are any of those qualities things that you’d hope she were looking for?

Find the time to sit down and talk to your daughter about choosing a role model, then watch as she goes about looking up to others.  A recent conversation I had involved a mom of a 12 year old girl who had been looking up to a girl in her church who was about six years older than her.  The older girl had just gone off to college and let’s just say that she wasn’t living the way she had been at home, or what she had been taught at church.

Now, the mom of the twelve year old struggles to know how to deal with her daughter’s disappointment as well as wondering if her daughter will think that the way this girl turned out will that affect her daughter and the choices she chooses to maker in her future.

It is definitely something to think about, are you a part of what your daughter is looking for?  Do you know who her role model is?  Talk to her!

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Praying Together

This weekend I spoke at a couple of Mother / Daughter Teas.  At each of the events I had the moms and their daughters at the end of our time together join hands and pray together.  I asked the moms to pray for their daughters, then, I asked the daughters to pray for their moms.

When this idea first came out of my mouth, as I was telling them what we were about to do I have a few strange looks, but as I looked up after doing this with the second group of girls, ages 13-18, I saw several girls and their moms with tears in their eyes.  The act of praying together, moms, is so powerful.

I had started by telling them that I had been in a conversation the week prior where my friends and I were discussing what to do when we just couldn’t not make ourselves like someone.  One of the my friends suggested to the other, “pray for her”.  She said, “I did it once and found it was difficult to dislike someone I was praying for”.  So, I suggested this idea to the moms and daughters at the tea, because as moms and daughters, or humans in general often times we come to a point where we just don’t like each other.  And, therefore, if you’re praying for each other, well, that will be more difficult to do.

Not only that but prayer is a strengthening bond that will not only bond the two of you together but the two of you with God.  To me there is nothing bad about that.

Want to teach your daughter more about prayer, check out the Moms in a Blog Bonanza for my special this week.  You can sign up on our homepage, to recieve the special via email.

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Being a Woman of Influence

What would happen if you decided to intentionally be a woman of influence?  I am currently reading Carol Kent’s Becoming a Woman of Influence which has gotten me to thinking a great deal about my influence on those around me, not only my daughter but other young women as well.

We have all been influenced by others in our lives, I’m sure there is someone in your life that you can recall who has particularly influenced you, whether in a positive way, or a negative way, they had quite an effect on you right?  Now, can you purposefully and intentionally influence someone else?  Why not set out to do so, if not for your daughter only but maybe for more women in your life who are younger than you.  There are ladies out there who are in the generation below yours that are longing to be understood by someone and who need you to show them attention, love and concern.

We have the power to influence other generations for good or for bad.  How will you choose to be an influence?  Carol Kent in her book defines influence as “a person’s wisdom or force of character that makes a lasting impact on the behavior and or choices of another individual.”

We are all an influence whether we realize it or not, but what kind of influence are we and could we choose to be a more positive influence on those around us?  Of course, so why not vow to do so this year?

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Did Your Momma Teach You Good Manners?

“Yes, ma’am”, “No ma’am”,  “Thank you”, “No thank you” are these words common practice in your day-to-day life?  I have had conversations lately with ladies where they will ask me to stop saying, “yes ma’am” to them, because we are close in age, then I have also had conversations with older people who were surprised by my saying those things. The simple fact is, unfortunately good manners are not common practice in today’s society.  This is sad, good manners are like a good name, a part of our character that should be Christ-like.

There are other areas of life that this applies to, I have always been taught to be grateful for what others do for you and in return to show your appreciation through the written word.  I am the queen of Thank you notes.  I believe that a short well written thank you note is sure to make someone feel appreciated for their deeds or actions.  Showing gratitude in even the smallest of circumstances makes a real impact on those around you and helps them to see your Godly character shining through.
When doing some research online about this topic, one of the manners that I came across that many people today seem to hold up in importance is for children to not talk while adults are talking.  Also, for us as adults even, to not interrupt each other when talking.  I am sure we have all encountered both situations and agree that good manners are important.
I think it is our duty as mothers of a new generation to teach our children these things.  Hold up in importance the daily practices that we so often have let go by the wayside these days.  Godly respect is important and should be made a priority.  We are called to “train up a child in the way that they should go.”  Going with good manners will help them a great deal in the days ahead.  It is our duty as parents to instill in our children good practices.

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Teaching Your Daughter Responsibility

What is your strategy for teaching your daughter responsibility?  Chores, a part time job, the way that you discipline her, encouraging her to be involved in extracurricular activities.  Any of these things can be a great tool for teaching responsibility.  For some girls, it seems to come easy, while for others they struggle with growing up and beginning to be self reliant and responsible for their own actions.

So, how can you help your daughter’s road to being responsible for herself and her actions a little smoother?   Sometimes you have to sit back and allow her to make mistakes and to learn from them, while other times you may need to help her back up when she’s down.  A proper balance of both scenarios is crucial to allowing her to grow and learn.

No matter what your daughter needs to know that you are there for her even when she feels like she is old enough to “do it herself” or “take care of it herself”  she may need the reassurance that you are there to back her up if something goes wrong. Give her that assurance so that she can feel like she has the ability to try with all her might, but still have a soft place to land if need be.

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Road Trip Remedies

Are you traveling for the holidays?  Do you dread being in the car with your kids?  You just need to be prepared.  Instead of singing “99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall,” choose more wholesome games and travel songs to sing. Many travel games start in our imagination. We make them up as we go along and begin a new family tradition. No one has any hard and fast rules about these games; that’s why they are so cool. The game maker calls the shots.

How about the alphabet game? For each letter, come up with the name of someone in the Bible whose name also begins with that letter. Try to get all the way to “Z.” You can also do the same with numbers. Think of a solitary person in the Bible. Next go to two who were always together and so on.

Kids love to try to outsmart each other and their parents. Take turns telling stories from the Bible and let the others in the car try to guess which biblical person you are talking about.

Does your car have a DVD player? Invest in some DVDs for the family to watch. The people in the front seat will have to listen instead of watch, but they can still participate in discussions and singing silly songs.

One of the most popular video series is Veggie Tales. Bob the Tomato and Larry the Cucumber were my kid’s favorite friends when they were little. They still remember the songs even now. Who would have thought that singing vegetables would be such good role models? The stories are based in modern times and on characters that kids can relate to. The Bible stories use fun characters and props to tell the stories so that kids can understand the concepts.

Traveling doesn’t have to be boring. With the Bible as a guide, there are plenty of games that can be used to teach values and fun at the same time.

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Movie Night for the Girls

Spending time with your daughter is one of the best things that you can give  her.  Think about it, your time is your most valued and most precious commodity, therefore why not show your daughter how much you care about her by giving her some of that most precious commodity?  Your time.

One of the ways you might choose to spend some time with your daughter and have fun too would be by having a “movie night” just for you girls.  Rent the latest chick flick, pop some popcorn or bake up some brownies, get in your jammies and veg out as they say.  Relax, giggle, snuggle have fun!

Let her pick the movie (within reason) and make the night special for the both of you.  You might even find a movie that will be a good conversation starter so that you can spend time chatting too afterward.  You might even want to make this movie night a monthly tradition that you can both look forward to as your time.

As busy as we are these days we must guard our relationships and do everything we can to make them strong.  Setting aside time for each other will help to guard your relationship, protect it and keep it strong and growing.  That’s what we all want right?

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