Loving My Children Part 4

March 26, 2007

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Name: Rayelle

Age:? 2 1/2

Personality: Extremely calm and even tempered. My other two will have more tamtrums today then she will have all month!! But she is very stubborn and has already perfected the silent treatment!

Her Love Language: Physical Touch

At this age, it is harder to determine what their love language is, she is just learning to talk and interact with the world around her. Most children this age are probably still using touch as their primary love communicator: hugs, kisses, cuddles, etc. I am starting to think that this may indeed be Rayelle’s love language because she is “cuddly” in a way neither of her siblings were. This may also be because she is the baby of the family, that remains to be seen. But at this stage of her life, physical touch is her love language.

Using Her Love Language: Bonding

Well, that’s pretty simple. She loves to sit on my lap, even if I am just working. Or she will stand on a chair behind me and lean on my, watching and plying with my hair for long periods of time! She still likes to be carried places, and still sleeps in our bed most nights. Never leave the house without giving her a kiss, it would leave her in tears!

Using Her Love Language: Discipline & Growth

Well, part of the reason that I think this is probably her love language is that physical discipline is the most effective with her as well. Now before you all jump on your soap boxes: I am not talking about spanking! There are other forms of physical, non violent punishment. For example, one of the most effective punishments for her is like a time out, but instead of sending her for one, I pick her up and plant her gently but firmly in the corner myself. Seems like a pointless detail, but that little difference but it really matters! If I send her, she thinks it’s a game but when I take her there myself, she understands that I am serious.

I have also learned that some lessons she will only learn by experiencing them physically. For example, I love candles and burn them often but she would not leave them alone, no matter what I did. Until one day she managed to stick her finger in the flame of one. She got a very minor burn and had I been watching, I would have stopped her. But after that experience, she never went near it again! Another example iswith our cat: Rayelle used to drag him aound by the tail and I would stop her and warn her that he woudl scratch if she did that. She never listened so one day I didn’t stop her: and sure enough, he scratched her hand to get away. She doesn’t pull his tail anymore. Now this is not always a good solution: I am not about to let her touch a stove top element to learn it is hot, or fall off a counter to learn that it isn’t safe to climb up there. That would be very poor parenting. But I think you get what I mean:)

Ariel’s love language is gifts, and we can encourag her to grow and learn using little gifts. Kahlan’s is Words of Affirmation and well placed praise has done wonders for his drive to learn and grow. Rayelle’s is Physical Touch and we have applied it in the same way: when she does something? new, or learns to do something on her own, we congratulate her? hugs, kisses, high fives, etc. And she loves it! When she first started putting on her own boots,? she would put them off and on, just so she could get another hug!? So cute:)

Next week we will be starting our first book “club”. We will be reading and discussing one chapter of Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman each week here on the blog. If you would like to read and discuss along with us, that would be wonderful! You can let us know at dcakru@mts.net and if you need help getting the book, we can help you find it. Next week will be chapter one! Watch for that!? You should be able to find it at most bookstores. It is called The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, ISBN:1-881273-15-6. We also found it for $4.38 on Ebay’s Half.com.

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