Find You Waiting

June 8, 2009 By 1 Comment

Growing up I had two posters that hung prevalently in my room. Oddly enough they weren’t of my teen idol crush, Shaun Cassidy, or of a favorite TV show or movie. They had nothing to do with pop culture at all. The posters clearly displayed Scriptures, and both were my first memory verses, and perhaps the only true memory verses that I have recalled and spoken over my life time and time again. Certainly there are other verses that I call upon, but these two verses are cornerstones and foundational in my walk of faith.The first poster had a young woman standing on a mountaintop looking out over the horizon and simply read, “Be still and know that I am God.” (Psalm 46:10a)

The second poster is the one I would like to focus on because the verse took on very special meaning for me in the past few weeks of my life. The poster displayed an eagle soaring through the sky and read. “But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.” (Isaiah 40:31)

A few weeks ago, I sat in a hospice in Salisbury, Maryland and said my goodbyes to my dad. One evening after his ‘bath’, they placed a blanket with an eagle soaring through the clouds on him, and that became our focus over the next few days. As I held his hand, I kept speaking into his life, claiming as he heads to his heavenly home, that he would soar with the eagles, never growing tired or weary, running with Jesus, and never growing faint. The verse blessed him significantly because he had been battling brain cancer for the past six months and the treatments and disease ended his life just as he was getting ready to live within his retirement years. He found hope in knowing that he would be free very soon.

Since his passing, I have dwelt on that verse more each and every day. Specifically, I have dwelled on a single question, what does God mean by those that WAIT upon Him?

The Hebrew translation of the word in this verse is QAVAH which means:

• To wait or look eagerly for
• To lie in wait for
• To wait for, linger for
• To collect, bind together, binding fast, as applied to strength
• To be collected

The first definition, to wait or look eagerly for, reminds me of a child at Christmas time. They eagerly wait in anticipation, hoping for the very best, so excited that it seems if the day doesn’t come fast enough they will just explode. Their wait is a happy time, an excited time, a time of anticipation and filled with joy and hope.

The second definition, to lie in wait for, reminds me of my dad. He had lost his ability to fight anymore, he did not have the strength to move on, and he was lying in wait for God to restore him. This is the point of our lives when we realize we cannot do this thing alone, that we need the help of the Almighty to help us rise up, and move on. This time of waiting is in full submission, ready for something outside us to move.

The next definition, to wait, linger for, is the picture of us waiting for the unexpected to happen. It is the bride waiting for her wedding day, unsure of how everything will play out, and waiting in nervous anticipation as she enters her new life. It is the student waiting to start their first day at a new school, wondering will they fit in and be accepted. It is the soldier waiting for the battle to begin, filled with adrenaline but also filled with fear as the next few moments could change his life forever. This form of waiting is filled with emotions, fear, anticipation, nervous energy.

The next two definitions had the most meaning for me. First is the idea of to collect, bind together, binding fast, as applied to strength. The description given in the Hebrew Lexicon, suggests that this type of binding is similar to that of a rope. How can we bind together, or bind fast like a rope in relation to God? There are two distinct ways, prayer and praise. Scripture tells us that when two or three of us gather together in the name of Jesus, then He is there in the midst of us. (Matthew 18:22) Interesting enough it takes three strands to make a cord that cannot be broken. With two of us, and Jesus as the third strand we can make an unbreakable bond that reaches God; with each additional strand in the cord, the bond becomes stronger and stronger.

During the last few days of my dad’s life, I had indescribable peace. That peace was from the binding together with many prayer partners that were lifting my dad and me up during the long, unending hours. The last day I was with my dad, I played praise and worship music, and while holding his hand, we worshipped together in spirit, bidning us together with Godin His throne room of grace. Prayer, praise and worship, lead to a waiting that is filled with peace, knowing that God will provide for you.

Lastly, there is waiting in the form of collecting. When I think of this type of waiting, I think specifically of serving others. We have waiters and waitresses that simply wait on the needs of others. I propose that we as stewards of Christ’s kingdom should become the waiters and waitresses to the world. In this sense we are working to meet the needs of the world, waiting on them, collecting their hopes and dreams, and showing them how to find grace. Or perhaps we are collecting their times of sorrow, trial, and tribulation, and we are taking their needs to the cross, serving them with the love of Jesus. In this form of waiting, we are actively serving others, and God will refresh and restore us as we show His love to the world.

Interestingly enough, the one form of waiting that has become commonplace in our society is not mentioned in the definitions of waiting in this verse. It is the form of waiting impatiently. You can just picture the teenager tapping their foot, rolling their eyes. Or the person that becomes aggravated at the checkout counter. The angry driver. How about the teacher or parent that cannot take one more minute from their kids? The spouse that feels unappreciated? The child who wants their way and throws a tantrum. Somewhere in our society, we learned that it is okay to behave this way when we don’t get what we want, when we want it; but that way is not God’s way, and that way will not bring renewal and refreshment into our lives.

In closing, I would like to ask a simple question, how do you wait on or for God? Is it in expectant anticipation, or maybe with nervous eagerness and hope? Are you just waiting for God to move because you are worn out? Or perhaps you are serving others? Maybe you wait on God through times of prayer and worship? Whatever your form of waiting may be, I can promise you one thing… God is there waiting for you.

I’ve seen a widow, cry through her sorrow
And still raise her hands in the midst of it all
And Lord I’m reminded, when I was weary
You carried me, Yes, You carried me

And through all these years, You have been there
Dried all my tears and answered my prayer
I just want to feel Your presence again
I’m down on my knees in need of a friend
And I find you waiting there for me

~ Decemberadio, Find You Waiting

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Fear Not…He cares for you

May 11, 2009 By 1 Comment

eye-sparrow“Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? And yet not one of them is forgotten or uncared for in the presence of God. But even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not be struck with fear or seized with alarm; you are of greater worth than many flocks of sparrows.” (Luke 12:6-7, AMP)

This verse is all about perspective. How often do you really pay attention to the birds? On occasion I listen to them sing, but more often I am irritated by their singing, especially the few that have taken to nesting in our chimney. Sometimes we will stand in awe at their beauty as they sit on a tree in our yard, then we are upset about the mess they may leave on our windshield. They are birds, and most times they are something that we really don’t think about. Yet God cares for them, and like everything in His creation has a purpose for them.

What could a bird’s purpose possibly be? Well, their songs are soothing to the soul and their colors are absolutely spectacular, but maybe it’s more than their beauty and songs that we are suppose to realize through them. When I lived in the mountains in Virginia we could always recognize the start of winter season by the massive exit of the birds. Looking up in the sky we would see them flying in formation to warmer places. Driving down the street we would see them resting on the power lines, and we were certain that the cold was coming soon. And every new year, as we saw the birds flying back home, and we heard their songs in the morning sun, we would know that spring was on the way.Now that I live in Florida, there is no real mass exodus of the birds to foretell the coming of the winter season. In the contrary, we can recognize when the winter season has settled in the north by the increasing population of birds through the ‘winter’ months. But I have noticed that if you pay attention to the birds, you will watch them sense the coming of a storm.

Birds have an awareness about them, a supernatural sensitivity to the world around them; that we too often turn a blind eye too. Perhaps the birds serve as a reminder to us to stop and pay attention to the sounds and messages all around us.

Then there is us, the comparison in the verse; if God could care for a single bird, how much more must He care for you. This is probably where the deepest seeds of my fear and insecurities lie. How could God, who has so much to care for in the universe, possibly really care for me? Does He really have a purpose for my life? Does He know me so well, that He actually knows every hair on my head, knows when one falls out, and knows when a new one springs forward? How can a God so big, care for me, someone so small and insignificant?

Reflections of my childhood reveal where my insecurities began. My mother and I never had the most loving of relationships. I remember watching her care for and nurture my brothers and sisters, and yearn for the same treatment and concern; yet, I don’t remember her hugs or kisses, only my dad’s. While my dad lavished me with hugs and kisses, he helped build the foundation of insecurity and uncertainty, as I pursued the discovery of who I was. My father was wonderful at encouraging me to take a chance, to try, and then when I would do my very best at something, he would make sure I understood all the areas that I had failed within the task. In his own mind, I believe that he thought he was helping me to become a better person, stronger and wiser. But with each failure, my dreams were packed away one by one in the recesses of my heart. Excellence was demanded in our home, excellence in schoolwork, and manners, and as I grew up under the constant eye of scrutiny, I never felt pretty enough, smart enough, or graceful enough. In the end, they succeeded in creating a young woman, full of self-doubt and insecurity, certain that anything she received within life was through someone else’s grace or pity.

I spent most of my life living this way. I was constantly afraid; afraid that people will judge my looks, afraid that my outfit wasn’t right, afraid that I would say the wrong thing, and mostly afraid of exposing any part of the secrets that lay within the recesses of my heart.

Yet during the past few years those dreams and hopes that were hidden away have sprung back into the forefront of my life. God has used my ability to write to expose the deepest and most hidden parts of me. And as I write each day, I learn more about the God of this universe who loved me with a perfect love, when my parents didn’t. I have seen areas that He has been proud of my gifts, and used them for the benefit of others, free of criticism and scorn. He has shown me that I do have a purpose, even if it is only to reach one heart, one soul; even if that heart and soul is my very own.

How can I believe that it is God creating this change in me? I cannot prove it through the physical or scientific realm. I cannot provide any undeniable evidence to the skeptic heart. What I can do is say that it is all a matter of faith. Faith is more than just believing that something is going to happen, it is becoming willing to step out into the actions of that belief. Peter may have believed Jesus that he could walk on the water, but he would have never believed it to be true until he took that first step and his faith become an undeniable truth.

God loves us with a perfect and undeniable love. He can love us when others can’t because His love is not flawed with our imperfections. When God looks upon us, He sees the perfection of His creation. He sees everything we were meant to be, everything He purposed us to be. He sees how we can continue to grow, and how our failures can easily be turned to successes. He cares for us, our hearts, our dreams, our purposes; and He knows us more intimately than we could ever know ourselves.

God takes care of every part of His creation. He cares for the birds of the air, the lilies of the field, and each and every part of us. Take a step of faith today and become aware of the power of God’s love surrounding you. Believe that God loves you and take a step of faith into that love, embracing it just as He embraces you.

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Going Through the Motions

April 29, 2009 By Leave a Comment

Each morning, I get up and pretty much have the same, steady routine throughout my day. I do the same things in the same order, and must admit that I probably don’t really think about the commonality of my day much at all. The only time I become alarmed, is when something is off-kilter.

During my time of getting ready each morning, I have prayer and venting sessions with God. I must admit, at times my family must think me to be out of my mind as they come into my room and here me talking up a storm; but in reality, I need to flow through things out loud to get them straight in my mind. It is during these sessions of flushing my feelings and thoughts out that God often reveals what should have been so obvious for me to see, but was lost somewhere in my life most common.

This morning, as I was running through my soliloquy of trivialness, God placed the vision of a car driving down the street. I heard Him ask me, when do you worry about the car; at what point do you care for it? And it immediately hit me, that just as in my morning routine, I really don’t pay attention to my vehicle until some warning light, weird noise, or something out of the ordinary occurs. In my confession, God revealed that was where my frustration lies… I had found myself in the pursuit of the motions…

It is a common theme for all of our lives. Just last night as I watched The Biggest Loser, I watched contestants look back on their starting point of a remarkable journey and wonder, how did they ever get in that condition and not realize it? Whether it is our weight, our finances, our health, our sanity, or anything in our lives that is out of whack, can’t we all ponder that same question…

How did I get here?

It’s not as if we don’t have the warning lights, weird noises or out of the ordinary circumstances occurring. Our clothes don’t fit, a check bounced, our blood pressure is high, sleeplessness, moodiness, stress, anger, frustration… and the list goes on. All of these simple warning signs, attempting to keep us from the looming disaster; the heart attack, the bankruptcy, the divorce, and so many other trials we face are with us and apparent to others, but for some reason not to ourselves.

Perhaps, it is our tendency to see the fault in others, but not ourselves.

“It’s easy to see a smudge on your neighbor’s face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own. Do you have the nerve to say, ‘Let me wash your face for you,’ when your own face is distorted by contempt? It’s this whole traveling road-show mentality all over again, playing a holier-than-thou part instead of just living your part. Wipe that ugly sneer off your own face, and you might be fit to offer a washcloth to your neighbor.” (Matthew 7:3-4. MSG)

This verse states “Do you have the nerve to say, ‘Let me wash your face for you,’ when your own face is distorted…” I would like to ask, do we have the nerve to look in the mirror at ourselves, and be honest with what we see. Do we have the nerve to sit in God’s presence and allow Him to reveal to us those things that so bother us when it comes to others? Do we have the nerve to face the truth and stop going through the motions of our lives, succumbing to complacency?

There is a song by Matthew West called The Motions. It wasn’t until I saw the video today that I realized the song was about a very personal time in his life. A while back Matthew West had to undergo surgery for his throat. In the healing process of that surgery, he was unable to speak for a predestined period of time. For a singer, a person who reaches out to others with the gift God has placed in his voice, I could not begin to imagine the feelings that ran through him. And then I ask myself, would I have the nerve to face the challenge God is asking me to face and trust in Him fully for the outcome He has predestined for me?

Perhaps the song says it best:

This might hurt, it’s not safe
But I know that I’ve gotta make a change
I don’t care if I break,
At least I’ll be feeling something
‘Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of life

I don’t wanna go through the motions
I don’t wanna go one more day without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don’t wanna spend my whole life asking,
“What if I had given everything, instead of going through the motions?”

No regrets, not this time
I’m gonna let my heart defeat my mind
Let Your love make me whole
I think I’m finally feeling something
‘Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of this life

I don’t want to go through the motions of life, just living from warning signal to warning signal, only making changes when I have no other feasible options left. Instead, I want to seek after God and have the nerve to face myself each and everyday, choosing to be better and try harder for His glory than I had the day before.

Here’s to us going outside the motions of our lives….

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Choices…

April 24, 2009 By Leave a Comment

Last night I had the privilege of watching the 2009 Dove Awards with my family. It was a fun evening, watching artists and songs we love receive nods for their talents and courage to step out in the Christian music scene. This was the first year that fans were able to vote for several of the categories, which made the evening even more exciting.

A few short weeks ago, my kids were able to cast their votes for another award show – The Kids Choice Awards sponsored by Nickelodeon. My daughter, age 13, led the effort to make sure their voices were heard among the millions of young viewers who were voting. I remember her excitement as she felt the ability to allow her voice to be heard, and I can just as easily recall her disdain as she was presented with one of the categories.

The category was Song of the Year, and three songs had received nods by Nickelodeon; they were Don’t Stop the Music (Rihanna), Single Ladies (Beyonce), and I Kissed a Girl (Katy Perry).  My daughter was stumped; she didn’t know what to do.

Her indecision was not caused by the fact that she is not allowed to listen to secular music on the whole. (This means that she cannot purchase albums, songs for her MP3 player, etc. that are secular, unless previously approved by either her father or I). Her indecision was caused due to her knowing the songs, and being unable to choose between them.

When she came to me with her confusion over what to do, my first thought was – how does she know these songs anyway? As we discussed the songs, I realized they were prevalent in her culture, and even though she is not openly exposed to them from our influences, the messages of the songs are still finding their way into her life. How? Through TV shows, movies, video clips of the songs on the kids channels; the song I Kissed A Girl was even played during a family charity event we attended, as a song that was kid-friendly.

Allow me to provide you with a few lyrics from each song:

Single Ladies

I got gloss on my lips, a man on my hips
Hold me tighter than my Dereon jeans
Acting up, drink in my cup
I could care less what you think
I need no permission, did I mention
Don’t pay him any attention
Cuz you had your turn
But now you gonna learn
What it really feels like to miss me

Don’t Stop the Music

Do you know what you started?
I just came here to party
But now we’re rocking the dance floor, acting naughty
Your hands around my waist
Just let the music play
We’re hand in hand, chest to chest, and now we’re face to face
 

I Kissed A Girl

This was never the way I planned
Not my intention
I got so brave, drink in hand
Lost my discretion
It’s not what I’m used to
Just wanna try you on
I’m curious for you
Caught my attention

No, I don’t even know your name
It doesn’t matter
You’re my experimental game
Just human nature
It’s not what, good girls do
Not how they should behave
My head gets so confused
Hard to obey

I remember being at the charity – family friendly event, and watching kids of all ages sing the songs above. They knew the words and were singing them with glee…

As a parent, I need to ask myself, what am I allowing to affect my children? I do not want my kids, even my young teenager, to sing songs about dancing chest to chest with people, their hands on her hips. I don’t want them to sing joyfully about having a drink in their hand and allowing the alcohol to provide them with a bravery they don’t need to experience.

So as parents, what do we do?

Oddly enough, the events of this week brought another thought to the forefront of my mind. During the Miss USA pageant, Miss California was asked about her opinion on gay marriage, and while she stated partners should be able to make their own personal choice, she was booed and severely criticized for her comment that it was not something she or any member of her family agreed with. The outroar from those agreeing with the same-sex marriage platform were heard from all directions… yet where was the voice of reason in all this confusion?

So, as parents, what do we do?

It is time that we as parents took a stand about what is being exposed to our children.  How is it that our kids can have songs about homosexuality glamorized on kid-friendly TV stations, or award shows, and we don’t say a word.

Our world is like none other. Our kids are exposed to so many negative connotations of mankind everyday, and most of them are done innocently; or so it seems.  Think about what they see on Nick TV, and the Disney channel. How about the Burger King commercials (the tub, the scantily dressed women dancing)?

Yet the Scripture speaks to us about these things:

Be wary of false preachers who smile a lot, dripping with practiced sincerity. Chances are they are out to rip you off some way or other. Don’t be impressed with charisma; look for character. Who preachers are is the main thing, not what they say. A genuine leader will never exploit your emotions or your pocketbook. (Matthew 7:15-19, MSG)

What are all these entities looking for, really? Do they care about our children and their choices, or do they care about their bottom-line, their profit?  The flash, the glamour, the humor, the thrill; all entice our kids and speak to their hearts, even when they are not listening on purpose.

As parents, it is time we stood up; first and foremost, with our children. It is time that we explained to them what is right, what is wrong, the path to walk upon, and the reasons why they should make the best choices. We need to stop being afraid of whether they will love us or not, and care more about whether they are safe, self-assured, and full of a confidence and a strength that empowers them to make the right choice. That strength? The absolute knowledge that we love them, no matter what; and that their Creator loves them more than we possibly can.

Sure, we can fight our battles in the public, and try to have things removed from our sights; protect our kids in that way. Even if we succeed, if we have not protected our children’s hearts, then we have failed. See, I have removed all evidences of secular music from my home, but it still gets in; despite all my efforts.  My joy is in the fact that my kids are making good choices.

My daughter’s vote for the Song of the Year on the Kid’s Choice Awards… none; she felt no song nominated deserved her seal of approval.  

Her vote for Song of the Year for the Dove Awards….again, she had a hard time deciding, but her top three were Empty Me (Chris Sligh), I Will Not Be Moved (Natalie Grant), and I’m Letting Go (Francesca Battistelli). Her final choice was a song about standing firm in the will of God, because she will not be moved in her faith.  She has made a right choice and brought joy not only to my heart but to her Father’s heart as well.

Press on parents, empower your children to make the best choices and find their feet firmly planted in the love you and God have for them.

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FEAR NOT… God is with us

April 17, 2009 By Leave a Comment

“So don’t be afraid: I’m with you. I’ll round up all your scattered children; pull them in from east and west. I’ll send orders north and south: ‘Send them back. Return my sons from distant lands, my daughters from faraway places. I want them back, every last one who bears my name, every man, woman, and child Whom I created for my glory, yes, personally formed and made each one.’” (Isaiah 43:5-7, MSG)

This is a verse of encouragement for me.  God is reminding us not to be afraid, or to feel lonely, or alone, or isolated – because He is with us.  The verse goes onto to speak of how He will gather the children, from all the corners of earth – everyone that was called a child of God…He wants each and every one of us back.

I can only imagine how God feels with His children scattered throughout the world. I would imagine He has the same feeling of yearning for His children, as we do our own.

Abby is now a teenager. She is involved in a singing group and travels frequently performing at ministry / concert outreach events. If that wasn’t enough, she also enjoys spending the night with her friends.  At times, she can be gone for a few days without us seeing each other.  I feel a void in my heart; I feel like something is missing, and I yearn to have her close to me. 

And when she goes to school, I worry about her well being.  Will the teachers treat her well?  Will she be bullied today or put down today? Will something happen that will cause her to think she is not everything that God, her dad and I believe her to be? I fear that I cannot be there for her and take care of her each and every need and hurt.  I fret over the fact that I cannot protect her 24-hours a day / 7-days a week and it breaks my heart.

At times, okay most times, she becomes highly frustrated by my tendencies – she is a teenager and can take care of herself. She certainly doesn’t need her mother to hover over her at her age. Then there are times that she just wants to rest in the comfort of my arms – and know that everything will be okay. Those are the moments that I cherish.

I imagine that in the same fashion that we worry, fret and fear over our children, God is concerned for us.  As any good parent, He allows us to scatter to the ends of the earth, and figure out who we are, in hopes that we will come home to Him, because we have learned that home is where the heart is.  Despite what we encounter on our journey, despite how we feel along the way, despite our ups and our downs, God is with us.

In the same way, a piece of who we are, the words we have counseled, remains with each of our children, and as they hear our words in their heart, they are reminded that we are with them. God is the same with us, as He speaks to our heart and reminds us that He is with us always.

Thank you God for remaining with me at all times. Thank you for speaking to my heart and thank you most of all for encouraging me to come home.

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Love Is…When You Owe It To Them To Carry On

April 13, 2009 By 1 Comment

The season is over. Easter, Lent, and Passover have passed.  It has been a strange season for me, as I struggle with my father’s terminal illness, and reminisce with friends and loved ones who have also experienced loss this season.

It is strange how we view death. We, as humans consider it to be the end of something. Death symbolizes loss and grief, and we look back on what we have had, or what we have missed during that persons’ time with us.

It is a hard time, but mainly because we are not considering what has passed, but instead where we have failed to meet our own personal expectations in that persons’ life before it passed. We all too often contemplate what else we could have said to them, how else we could have helped them; wishing for another chance to say we love them, or to hug them, and let them know how integral they are to our lives.

As I think back on my own life, I recall the death of my grandparents.  My grandmother died when I was in fourth grade, and I remember not being allowed to say goodbye to her, or let her know I love her. I was only a child and my dad didn’t want my last memory of his mom to be one of her with tubes in her, struggling for breath as she fought the pneumonia that eventually took her life.

My grandfather died when I was in eleventh grade. This death I regret the most. Somewhere I learned not to take that last step. It wasn’t that I was afraid of him, or his suffering; I had spent years helping him clean the skin cancer that was consuming him. I was afraid of me… I was afraid of having to let go and say that last goodbye to a man who fed into my life more than any other person I know. To this day, my heart breaks when I think of him, and the relationship that has passed on.  Yet, while the tears flow, I am happy that he is seated in heaven with God, and one day I will be able to see him again.

Now, I am facing the death of my dad.  Just a few short months ago he finally chose to retire at the age of 78. He was happy and looking forward to moving into his new home with my stepmom, and ready to enjoy the rest of his life. A few weeks after he retired, something was wrong. He was not communicating effectively, and not understanding what people were saying to him. After a few weeks the doctors discovered brain cancer.  He has undergone surgery, and is in the middle of chemotherapy and radiation treatments, but it is not working. He has been prayed for by numerous people all over the country, by his church, by his family… and still no improvement.

For a moment, after he was prayed for; we did receive a miracle. For a moment, he was our father again, able to speak love to us, able to identify us and share memories… then he was taken away again. The man that is here today is just a glimpse of who my father was, and each day I pray that God would take him home, and he would find peace that passes all understanding.

As I have contemplated death these past few weeks and how it has effected my life, I recall the one death that has made more impact on me than any other; the death of Christ.  Beaten beyond recognition, forced to carry a cross with a body that was exhausted from pain and agony, watching each step with eyes that are stinging from the blood pouring from his forehead… He still, willingly, took each step towards the death that was imminent from the beginning of the world.

Prior to His death, Jesus did some miraculous things. He loved a man, cared for, clothed, fed, and fed into this man that He knew would betray Him in the end.  He healed a soldier that came to lead Him to his death. He loved those who cursed Him, cried out for those who yearned for His death, showed compassion to a thief who was crucified next to him, and cared about the other thief who screamed for His death.

In my personal experiences with death, the person I have loved has disappeared in their last hours, unable to share their love, their compassion, their kindness with me one last time. In His death, Jesus showed His love, compassion, and forgiveness through to His last breath as He took on our sin, and His Father turned His back on His only son.

I asked my Sunday school class the other day, what is it that we can ever go through that Jesus hasn’t?  He has experienced the betrayal of friends and strangers, has been denied by his closest friends, experienced rejection, felt pain and despair. Jesus has faced it all and provided an example for us how to move forward in mercy and grace.

carrying-onAs a child who has lost the only real parents she knew (my grandparents), and is losing her father, I owe it to my family and friends to share the identity of love that was revealed to me during their lives. My grandmother taught me to serve willingly, work heartily, and to be strong; regardless of your circumstance. My grandfather taught me to be peaceful and seek God in the moments of my life.  My dad has taught me to find joy where you can, and to recognize the gifts God has given others.

More important than anything my earthly family has taught me, my spiritual one has taught me to carry on with Jesus’ legacy of love and compassion to a dying world.

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I Will Not Be Shaken from The Mountain of God

March 12, 2009 By Leave a Comment

GOD IS our Refuge and Strength [mighty and impenetrable to temptation], a very present and well-proved help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change and though the mountains be shaken into the midst of the seas, though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling and tumult. Selah [pause, and calmly think of that]! (Psalm 46:1-3, AMP)

This passage sparks so many memories to me. Off the top of my head I can think of two songs, I Will Not Be Shaken, and The Mountain of God that speak to standing on the Rock of our Foundation.

In I will not be shaken, the verse starts out “My soul finds rest in You, My comfort and My Rock”, continuing into the chorus, “I will put my trust You, I will put my hope there too, I will stand upon Your Word, I will not be shaken”. 

I imagine this worship song was written around the concept of this psalm.  Even as every part of our world swirls around us, and we are in complete confusion, and possibly despair, we can stand upon God and not fear anything.  There is nothing in this world that God cannot change. 

When the apostles were on the boat in the middle of the night it started to rain. Scripture states that they were afraid and Christ was sitting there sound asleep. They were as little children running to their parent in the midst of a nightmare looking for reassurance and comfort in the middle of their storm.  Christ simply wakes up and tells them to not be afraid, to have faith. He said they would be okay and they will.

The first time I heard Mountain of God by Third Day, I cried.  The lyrics instantly grabbed a hold of my heart…

Thought that I was all alone
Broken and afraid
But You were there with me
Yes, You were there with me

And I didn’t even know
That I had lost my way
But You were there with me
Yes, You were there with me

‘Til You opened up my eyes
I never knew
That I couldn’t ever make it
Without You

Even though the journey’s long
And I know the road is hard
Well, the One who’s gone before me
He will help me carry on
After all that I’ve been through
Now I realize the truth
That I must go through the valley
To stand upon the mountain of God

As I travel on the road
That You have lead me down
You are here with me
Yes, You are here with me
I have need for nothing more
Oh, now that I have found
That You are here with me
Yes, You are here with me

I confess from time to time
I lose my way
But You are always there
To bring me back again

Sometimes I think of where it is I’ve come from
And the things I’ve left behind
But of all I’ve had, what I possessed
Nothing can quite compare
With what’s in front of me
With what’s in front of me

This song speaks so clearly of the path I have traveled along the past 20 years. I was so sold out for Christ when I married my first husband, but I was a toddler Christian, not still a baby; but no where close to being mature enough to stand strong in the trials ahead.  It wasn’t hard to get beaten down, and to eventually turn my back on God.  The irony of the situation was I thought I was growing the entire time. I believed I was becoming more enlightened, and the Christians were the immature ones that needed to grow.

Years later, after I moved to Florida, I recommitted my life to Christ. I was now a single mother of three, who had just survived a bout with bladder cancer.  I slowly realized the path I had been walking down, and understood why I was where I was, and I was so ashamed of my choices.

God met me there. In my fear, my shame, and my sorrow, He told me that everything was going to be okay, to go and rest, that my nightmare was over, and a new day was dawning.

Since that time I have been on a different journey; one that I sometimes struggle with, but a journey that I would never trade for my previous journey along the path of life. God has promised to walk with me this time; as long as I choose to continue to walk with Him.

As the apostles entered the boat with Christ, they were as the toddler Christians; they had faith, but not enough to sustain them through the storm. Christ knew where His source of strength was, He knew He could find refuge in the Father, and He rested as God guided the boat through the storm. I want to be more like Jesus and learn how to rest peacefully, as the storms of life are blowing all around me, and know that I am safe, and that I will arrive in the destination that the Father has prepared for me.

As I close today, I want to encourage each of you to find rest in the assurance that God can provide to you.  The mountains of the world are being shaken with the economy and unemployment, but God is still our refuge and our strong tower that we can rely on. He can calm the storms that are swirling all around us, and we can find peace as we rely on Him to see us through.

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LOVE IS… Being a Willing Parent

March 5, 2009 By Leave a Comment

Waiting in the doctor’s office, I flipped the pages of a magazine and came upon an article that caught my eye. The article was about a young boy who always found himself in the midst of trouble, and yearned for superhero powers.

At the age of ten, the young boy in this article constantly found himself being grounded for another misstep in his behavior. One day in school, his teacher announces that she will confiscate any game card decks that are brought to her classroom. The next day, his deck is confiscated and placed within the teacher’s desk.

Already in trouble for failing to mind his teacher and parents, the youngster swipes the deck back with no one being the wiser. During the drive home from school, he admits his error in judgment to his mother.

Initially infuriated, his mother begins to ground him and begins driving to the school say he will admit to his wrong doing. As she arrives at the school, she realizes that having him return to the classroom would cause enormous embarrassment for her son, and she decides to have him sneak the deck back into school before he can be found out.  She encourages him to use his “superhero” powers and makes the experience adventurous.

At the end of the day, she is the hero for not embarrassing him and he has confidence in himself, being able to correct a wrong before he was found out.

My brain screeched to a halt… WHAT?

I was dumbstruck. This mother encouraged her child to sneak into his school and cover up the error of his ways, teaching him that as long as you don’t get caught…it’s okay.

Now, I will not sit here and pretend that I have never taken this parental path to least resistance. When my youngest was a toddler, he had a propensity for stealing items in the store. He would pick things up and just slip them into his pocket. If I noticed before we left, I would return the item, but one day I noticed long after we had left the store.

I had taken my three children to the amusement park. As a single parent, the day can be exhilarating and exhausting all at the same time. My youngest had managed to stuff a bag of chocolate coins into his pocket. I did not notice until we were far away from the shop and in my tiredness, scolded him and let him off the hook.  We did not return the item, and worst yet, I allowed the kids to eat the chocolate later that day.

Kids will be kids… this too shall pass… He won’t remember anyway… I had a million things running through my mind justifying my behavior for not disciplining my child.

Just this past week, my son recalled the incident with a gleam of humor in his eye, and immediately I was convicted.  In my refusal to properly handle the situation, I spoke into his life what he could perceive as truth, but is really a lie… I taught him, “If you don’t get caught, then it is okay.”

Train a child in the way that he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. (Proverbs 22:6, NIV)

Many times that verse has poured through my mind. What am I training my children to do, how am I being responsible to keep them on the right path?

In the Message the verse reads “Point your kids in the right direction, when they are old they will not be lost.”

What did I really teach my son that day? It was not how to do the right thing, but more how to get away with behaving improperly.

As parents, we need to not be afraid of embarrassing our kids, or having them face the consequences of their actions.  It is our responsibility to establish boundaries for them, teach them the right from the wrong, to help them realize the consequences of their actions while they are still under our protection and care. Being embarrassed, humiliated (one of my kids favorite terms), and uncomfortable are all character building times in their lives. It is in these moments that they will learn who they are, what they believe, and how far they are willing to go to obtain gratification.

We need to realize that our kids depend on us for everything, a roof over their head, food to eat, clothes to wear; and they also depend on us to guide them down the path of their lives. Sure, they will try a few things out in figuring out who they are; but our homes are meant to be their safe havens, where they can experiment with their personalities, their tastes, their likes and dislikes; and in those moments that our kids don’t meet our expectations, they are still met with our love without judgment or criticism, but full of guidance and respect.

Matthew, my youngest, always asks everyone in our family if they could have just one superhero power what would they pick. We would spend hours coming up with all sorts of crazy powers that would one up the last, but then it hit me… what power is greater than the power of love from a parent to a child. That is the same love that God has for us. He is our parent, patiently guiding us to the right path, loving us through all of our accomplishments and failures.  Share that same power of love with your kids and their inner hero will begin to appear!

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The New Golden Rule

February 24, 2009 By Leave a Comment

gold-keyWhen I was little, I remember being in Sunday school, and having golden cut out keys everywhere.  On the key were the words, “Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you.”  I believe I was taught this principle (the Golden Rule) before any of the other things I learned about God.

Don’t be mean to that little girl, do unto others…

Don’t hit him, do unto others…

I can hear the words echoing in my head over and over again. 

In Leviticus we are introduced to a passage that demonstrates the Golden Rule plus some…

And if your brother becomes poor beside you and sells himself to you, you shall not compel him to serve as a bondman (a slave not eligible for redemption), But as a hired servant and as a temporary resident he shall be with you; he shall serve you till the Year of Jubilee, And then he shall depart from you, he and his children with him, and shall go back to his own family and return to the possession of his fathers. For the Israelites are My servants; I brought them out of the land of Egypt; they shall not be sold as bondmen. You shall not rule over him with harshness (severity, oppression), but you shall [reverently] fear your God.  (Leviticus 25:39-43, AMP)

This verse takes the idea of doing for others just one step further; this passage encourages us to treat others better than you would treat yourself. 

So, how well do you treat yourself? Truth is I don’t treat myself well at all.  I am critical, harsh, judgmental, condescending, and unforgiving when it comes to me.  I am my own worst enemy.

To live out this verse, I will have to do better than living the golden rule.

A member of the community (a brother) is in trouble. This could be anyone, a person in our church, our neighborhood, of own family, or extended Christian family that is experiencing some form of trouble; whether it be emotional, financial, or spiritual. As followers of Christ, we are called to take them under our wings, and help them get back on their feet; not to chastise them and teach them their lesson, but to extend grace and mercy to them. 

“…don’t be harsh with them, don’t treat them poorly, but instead reverently fear Your God.” (Leviticus 25:43)

We are told to treat them well, and to help them out of their circumstance, to love them through their situation, just as God would do for any of us. To help rebuild the person and return them to their life in a better, more experienced position; to empower the individual to help someone else, and to spread the love of God.

My new Golden Rule? 

Take care of and love others, as you would want God to take care of and love you.

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Fear Not…Names Can Change You

February 18, 2009 By 1 Comment

Sticks and stones may break my bones; but names will never hurt me. We teach our children that simple rhyme to wash away the pain of the names that will be thrown at them throughout their lives. Some names will stick and others won’t. Some names will teach us about ourselves.

Once while teaching a lesson, my wonderful husband inadvertently referred to me as a donkey. He didn’t really mean that I was a donkey, or any variation thereof; he was speaking of the donkey in story of Balaam (Numbers 22) and how my actions reminded him more of the donkey than of Balaam. An interesting fact about donkeys is that they will not back up; they have to move forward to turn around to change their course. The donkey in the story of Balaam comes to a point where there are things on the right and the left of him, and an angel in front of him; so he was stuck. (That is when Balaam struck him and the donkey spoke.)

Rich referred to my actions as those of the donkey because all too often I don’t backtrack, if I am in the wrong, I will forge ahead full force. When I realize I am in the wrong and need to make a change, I do a complete 180. He calls me black or white, hot or cold, no middle ground; and it’s all true.

But I think that is true with God as well. We can’t be partially saved, we are either going to heaven or we are not. We have either committed a sin or we have not. We are either portraying Christ in our daily walk, or we are not. All of which seem pretty black and white to me.

Then I wonder why did Christ ride into Jerusalem on the back of a donkey? For a long time I thought it was as a sign of his humble place, not a place of royalty…to show that He was one of the everyday people.

But, then I think…a donkey will not retreat.

Christ knew when he rode into Jerusalem that day that it was the beginning of the end of His time here on earth. He was riding into the city where He would be betrayed and put to death. He knew that Calvary was ahead of Him and He rode into that time of His life with no intention of going back.

When Christ sends His disciples to retrieve the donkey, He claims “Do not fear, O Daughter of Zion! Look! Your King is coming, sitting on a donkey’s colt.” (John 12:15) His actions are to fulfill the prophecy, and to walk on the pathway set before Him by God.

Christ lived a perfect life. Part of that perfection was to walk down His path without fear. To know fully what He was about to face and experience, and to continue down the path because it was the will of His Father.

I guess I am like a donkey. I walk down the paths of my life full throttle, sometimes at the cost to my personal well-being. I am learning, and I am living for Christ with a stubbornness that helps me plant my steps along the path, even when they are wrong. That same stubbornness brings me back when I lose my way, and it teaches me that what once was stubbornness, can actually bloom into determination when watered and fed by the Word and love of God.

So sticks and stones may break our bones, but the names we are called can teach us about ourselves, realizing God’s plan for our lives and what was meant for harm can blossom in grace.

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