I was sent This is Not How I Thought it Would Be: Remodeling Motherhood to Get the Lives We Want Today by Kristin Maschka. (Sidenote: I LOVE getting books in the mail. It’s just like Christmas!) I was actually in the middle of another book but picked this one up on a whim and read the first page. Every word was something that I could identify with. So I kept reading. And reading. And, well, you get the idea.
Kristin Maschka has written a book about her struggles as a new mother and figuring out what her role was supposed to be. She struggled (just as I did) to feel at ease being predominantly focused on being a mom. She traded in a corporate job to stay home with her daughter but felt that the work at home was being unevenly divided. She had a hard time dealing with her new identity and with the guilt of those feelings on top of that.
Boy can I relate.
I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t over the moon with my new role and daily duties and I didn’t know why I kept fighting with my husband. The never ending guilt and frustration plagued me every day. And it plagued Kristin too. So she wrote a book about how to make it better.
Kristin talked a lot about Mind Maps and how they affect our perceptions on things. Here are a few:
- Moms who work are selfish
- Moms who stay home are not cultured or intelligent
- Moms should be the primary caregiver because they’re naturally better at it
- Dads who work shouldn’t have to do any of the house work duties when the moms stay home
I’ll admit it; I struggled with this book. Clearly, I have very defined Mind Maps that dictate my perceptions in this arena. But it’s made me stop and think. I won’t give too much away but if you’re feeling overwhelmed by your new role as a mother or know someone who is, grab this book. It’s written in a thought-provoking way to make you evaluate how you truly view motherhood and gives you tools to change things if you decide you need to.
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Sounds really interesting, thanks for the review I’ll look into picking up that one.
Some of that I do to myself. I am a SAHM but beginning to do a little work from home to prepare myself for returning to the work force when my kids are in school in a few years. I feel an emptiness when I don’t have any focus besides my kids, but when I actually spend time away from them (even in the basement working) I feel guilt too. We can’t win, and it’s many of those self perceptions at work I know. Thanks for some food for thought this morning.