Open Door Policy
September 26, 2008 by Alyssa
Filed under Mom - Daughter Connection, Moms & Family
Do you have an open door policy? Meaning, can your daughter and her friends hang out at your house whenever they want? I just recently watched an episode of Wife Swap. Both ladies on the show who swapped places with each other had teenage girls. One of the moms allowed her daughters to have company anytime including male friends without supervision, while the other never allowed her daughters to have friends over.
The show was a bit sad. One set of girls was completely out of control and the other set was so sheltered and honestly quite pitiful as they were treated so negatively by their parents. Neither set really had a healthy situation in my opinion which made me think there has to be a happy medium.
It is important that we allow our daughters to have some freedom, especially our teens. But we also have to give restrictions too. A good practice is an open door policy that includes allowing friends to visit when there is adult supervision. You will be surprised how much you can learn from and about your daughter as you witness her interacting with her friends.
Then, there is much to be said about how much better you’ll know her friends and how much they will respect you for having them around, opening up your doors, your home and your life to them. It can really do wonders for not only your relationship with your daughter(s) but also your relationship with her friends and her relationship with them as well. So, consider having an open door policy in your home.
More From Alyssa
We don’t have teenagers yet, but my husband and I already have discussed the fact that we want our house to be the “hang-out” when our kids are teenagers. We figure if we have a game system, ping pong, pool etc. and lots of food they will come. We prefer to have our kids (and others) here where we know what they are doing instead of somewhere where we don’t know where they are.
My girls have been allowed to have both male and female friends over, without supervision – though I always make sure the other parents are aware if I won’t be home for any amount of time as that is an issue for some parents.
Neither of my girls were very social in that they really didn’t care much for hanging out with friends for any long amount of time. Never had any issues with the co-ed situations either.
As a matter of fact, my 15 yo daughter would prefer a 3rd person be with her if she hanging out with a boy… just a comfort thing for her.
Because my girls are 6 and 3, inviting friends to come over is usually inviting the whole family to come over and hang out or have dinner.
We haven’t talked a lot about what we want to have happen when they are teenagers. When I was growing up we were allowed to have 1 or 2 friends over at a time (with 6 kids the house could go crazy when we all had friends over). I’m not sure what my husband’s rule was, but I know he spent a lot more time away from his house than I ever did. I know I want my girls to feel comfortable inviting their friends over, and I want their friends to be comfortable visiting. It should be interesting figuring out how to make it work.