Beautiful One
August 18, 2008 by Dawn
Filed under Bible Based Living
Wonderful, so wonderful is Your unfailing love. Your cross has spoken mercy over me.
Today, I am looking at my youngest childs’ favorite song, which surprised me. Matthew loves the song Beautiful One, specifically the Jeremy Camp version.
As I reflected on why he appreciated this song so much, it reminded me of God’s unfailing love…
Matthew was born at the beginning of the darkest period of my life. I had struggled becoming pregnant the first two times, and to find I was pregnant with Matthew was shocking to the point I didn’t understand it, and I kept asking the doctor if he was sure, and how this could happen. Not that I didn’t want Matthew, but things were already such a struggle for me at home.
Abby was a little over two, and Jacob was only a few months old when I learned I was pregnant. The doctor’s originally told me Matt would be born in December, meaning he and Jake would be 16 months apart. To God’s glory and omnipotent power, he was born in October, full term, stirring much confusion through the term of my pregnancy.
My husband had become increasingly abusive by this point, and in July of that year had attempted to kill me. He become drunk during a party we were at, and became quite unreasonable. This led to one of the longest nights in my life, beating after beating, followed by his finding the shotgun in our house, and coming after me. It was only by the grace of God that I was able to flee the house, and he didn’t see me. To this day, I believe angels surrounded me as he fled after me out the front door, blinding him to where I was.
That same evening a neighbor across the street took me in. The night led to several phone calls to my dad, and the final decision to return home and try to make things right. Several things led to that decision, one being my belief that divorce was wrong, the fact all our assets and insurances were tied into the business we co-owned, and that my dad didn’t come to help me out. I felt so alone. Family knew what had happened, but no one came to try and appease the situation or help me out of a time of need.
One of the other things that caused me to stay was God’s voice speaking to me through the entire situation. I kept asking Him why was I pregnant, if only I didn’t have this baby with me, I could leave, I could find my freedom. All God would tell me is that I was to name my son Matthew, and one day I would understand.
Matthew means gift of God, and that is exactly what he has been to me.
What does all this have to do with the song Beautiful One? Let’s take a look…
Wonderful, so wonderful
Is your unfailing love
Your cross has spoken mercy over me
No eye has seen no ear has heard
No heart could fully know
How glorious, how beautiful you are.
Beautiful one I love you
Beautiful one I adore
Beautiful one my soul must sing.
Powerful so powerful
Your glory fills the skies
Your mighty works displayed for all to see
The beauty of your majesty
Awakes my heart to see
How marvelous how wonderful you are.
Beautiful one I love you
Beautiful one I adore
Beautiful one my soul must sing.You opened my eyes to your wonders anew
You captured my heart with this love
Because nothing on Earth is as beautiful as you
So wonderful is God’s love for us. After Matt was born, I determined to make my marriage work. To do that, I had to fully submit to my husband. The problem was that my husband was not submitted to the things of God, but more to the deviant behaviors of the world. The things I did to save our marriage were unthinkable to me and things that have taken years to forgive myself for. BUT GOD…loves me, and the day I returned home to Him, His love fully enveloped me and the cross spoke mercy over my life.
Powerful, so powerful is God. During my pregnancy, everytime I saw the doctor, he moved my due date up. They couldn’t figure out why they kept getting it wrong. My daughter gave a presentation yesterday about a clerical error made in the life of Corrie Ten Boom, and during it she stated, “They called it a clerical error, we call it God.” That is exactly what I call it. God’s power came down and made sure that Matthew was born. I wasn’t going to make it through the pregnancy in the condition I was in physically and emotionally…BUT GOD, knew my need before I did, and He made a way for Matthew to come to my life.
You opened my eyes to wonders anew…You captured my heart with Your love…Because nothing on earth is as beautiful as You….That is exactly what God has done for me since Matt was born. My eyes were first opened to the love of this child that I didn’t deserve, and shamefully, wasn’t sure I even wanted. Matt came into my life with an overwhelming love for me, and a joy unspeakable, regardless of his circumstances.
See Matt has a very mild form a cerebral palsy, and while some would consider it an obstacle in their lives, he thinks it’s cool. He has faced every challenge this disability has brought him with absolute joy and confidence, never feeling sorry for himself, but instead considering it a blessing from God.
To top it off, Matt loves. He loves in the way I would think Jesus loves others. He is not judgemental, but honest. He cares and forgives quickly. He loves everyone, not looking at people’s differences but their similarities. Matt loved me completely in a time when I thought I was unlovable. His love reminded me of the love that God had for me.
Matt loved me through all the wrong I had done in my life…and he has never held one thing against me. Instead he looks on me as his beautiful one that God provided for him, to bring him closer to Jesus…when in reality, I could attribute my return home to the love Matt had for me.
Matthew was God’s gift to me. To remind me of the love He has for us…even when we don’t love ourselves. In my darkest hour, God saw my need before I even knew I had it, and He provided for me.
I believe Psalm 116:1-7 describes God provision in our time of need best…
I love God because he listened to me, listened as I begged for mercy.
He listened so intently
as I laid out my case before him.
Death stared me in the face,
hell was hard on my heels.
Up against it, I didn’t know which way to turn;
then I called out to God for help:
”Please, God!” I cried out.
”Save my life!”
God is gracious—it is he who makes things right,
our most compassionate God.
God takes the side of the helpless;
when I was at the end of my rope, he saved me.
I said to myself, “Relax and rest.
God has showered you with blessings (AMP)
What blessings will you allow God to shower on you today? You may not understand it at the time, but when you reflect upon certain times of your life, you will see that even in your darkest hour, God provides…
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