A Friend in This World…
August 12, 2008 by Dawn
Filed under Bible Based Living
In honor of International Youth Day and my own children I would like to present a challenge to all parents…
Find one of your children’s favorite songs, and take time to look up and read the lyrics.
I am grateful that my children still prefer the Christian music market to the secular scene. I pray that this will remain the constant as they grow in their walks.
Today, I want to look at one of Abby’s favorite tunes…A Friend in The World by Matthew West. I have been in the car with her several times when she has played this song over and over again. Until today, I never took the time to really listen or read the lyrics.
She always said the world was overrated
And she couldn’t take the drama it created
It’s a wonder that she didn’t wind up jaded
From all the times she’s been let down
Well, Mom and Dad split up when she was four years old
And left the world as she knew it spinning out of control
And she grew up feeling a hole in her soul
‘cause they were never around
She said, “why’s everyone always leaving?
I just want someone to believe in
And someone to believe in me.”
When you can’t find a friend in the world
A friend in the world
Love is reaching down
When you can’t find a friend in the world
A friend in the world
You got one now
I grew up in the glass house of a preacher
Where every move I ever made was a feature
And when you don’t always do what they teach you
They always point you out
But it’s just like TobyMac used to say
“Some people just gotta learn the hard way”
And when I couldn’t outrun all the things I’d done
I picked up the phone and my dad said, “son”
When you can’t find a friend in the world
A friend in the world
Love is reaching down
When you can’t find a friend in the world
A friend in the world
You got one now
This is where the story gets crazy
And this is the part that’s so amazing
You see, the girl I sang about in the first verse
Became my wife
And there’s one last thing I’d like to mention
We owe it all to the Author of redemption
Because He reached her life and He reached my life
And He’s reaching out now, take a look around
After reading the lyrics, I quickly realized why Abby loved this song so much. She is the girl in the first verse. Her biological father and I separated when she was only six, and it was a long and difficult divorce process. I know that it tore her world apart, but always thought to myself, things are better. While I realize that deep down inside she knows this too, I can now see where maybe, just maybe in my selfishness, I didn’t take the time to work through her hurts with her.
Complicating matters, her biological dad has not spoken to her or seen her for years. No birthday or Christmas cards, no “Hi, how are you?” messages, no email, no myspace, no contact whatsoever. I know she has been let down and I want to fix everything within her with everything within me.
The second verse speaks of her life today. Her dad (stepdad really, but Abby looks at him like her real dad), is a pastor. I am in servant leadership at our church, and she is in the fishbowl. So often she feels like she is under a different level of scrutiny; that everyone watches her every move. It is real? Probably not to the extent that she believes it is. But, to quote one of my past pastors favorite sayings…”Puppy love is real love to the puppy”. If Abby believes it to be true, nothing I can do can remove her burden…it is real to her.
The good news…Abby is a Christian. Her friend in this world is Christ.
There are places that He will reach down and heal her, where I can’t. He will relieve her fears and anxieties, where I am unable. He will be a Counselor to her, and a friend in her time of need.
As a parent, it is hard to watch our kids go through it. It becomes more difficult when some of the things they are struggling with our due to our own decisions.
I have learned that as honest and forthright as I am about the circumstances surrounding my divorce with her, it doesn’t take away her pain. Why? Because my relationship with her biological dad, was not her relationship with him. I have learned that even though I have chosen to be in ministry, and have my life examined or considered by others, that Abby didn’t make that same decision, and sometimes, I need to be a lot more understanding of her feelings of frustration. I have learned that regardless of how much I love her, she will have a place within her that needs to be filled with God’s love.
Best I can do…keep loving her, keep listening to her, keep praying for her, and keep teaching her how to rely on Christ in her times of trouble. I can remind her that regardless of what she is going through, there is one who offers her peace, perfect peace.
“I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have [perfect] peace and confidence. In the world you have tribulation and trials and distress and frustration; but be of good cheer [take courage; be confident, certain, undaunted]! For I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33, AMP)
And, I can take the same advice for myself. Realize that the perfect peace that God offers to Abby, is the same perfect peace He offers to me. I need to become confident in my decisions, and realize that the stresses, the trials, and tribulations, are sometimes actually lessons in faith and trust that God is working through me; and for that I should be cheerful.
As I look at the favorite tunes of my three children, I would like to hear from you. Take a moment and let me know what your kids favorite tunes are, and what you think of the lyrics…
Much love and blessing to all of you!
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